


Broken Halos

by samptra



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Competence Kink, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Identity Porn, M/M, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Not Steve Rogers Friendly, Protectve Tony Stark, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Soft Boys, Sweet Tony Stark, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:07:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 29,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samptra/pseuds/samptra
Summary: “Iron Man,” Steve turned to him, those endless sky blue eyes on him, “Come with us,” he urged.For a heartbeat, he desperately wanted too. He longed to run away from this cluster fuck of a mess…the Accords…everything.“You know my place is at Mr. Stark’s side,” he finally managed, the sob threatening to erupt, as he bit his cheek viciously.Steve smiled at him sadly, “I know Shellhead.”He watched them leave, disappearing out of the bunker and into the night.He fell to his knees then, the sorrow finally overwhelming him as he wept bitterly for his parents, for himself, for the things he'd never have...
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 34
Kudos: 1290
Collections: Stark in love





	1. Folded wings that used to fly

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all, so I wrote this huge story....didn't mean too, I was just wanting a story where Tony was badass, and I wanted angst, but fluff. I couldn't find one, so I wrote one and boy did it get away from me! I am loving WinterIron though so much love. So this one, and I am getting to work on a couple for the Winter Steve series. For now, though enjoy I'm hoping to have the next section up very soon. 
> 
> Title from the Christ Stapleton song, Broken Halos.

* * *

_It felt as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest. _

_He struggled to breathe, to not collapse and scream in agony like he so desperately wanted too. Thankful for the amour, as it was the only thing managing to keep him upright at that moment. _

_“What do I do Shellhead?” _

_Those blue eyes looked at him pain-filled, open, and beautiful. _

_He swallowed down his rage, pressing his bitterness down. On the screen before him, the image forever frozen in his mind's eye; the cold emotionless expression of the Winter Soldier over the body of his father._

_“He’s my friend…I can’t…I can’t tell Mr. Stark what do I do?” _

_Tony struggled to breathe, the arc heavy in his chest, pressing down on him, constricting his breath. _

_“You need to go,” he finally managed, hoping the voice modulator hid the tremble in his words as he gagged on the emotions that tore through him. _

_  
Steve blinked at him surprised, “Go?” _

_He sucked in a breath, “Yes, get him away…somewhere safe. Take the jet, I’ll send coordinates.”_

_Steve nodded agreeing eagerly, “Yes ok…ok,” he turned towards the hollow-eyed Bucky Barnes, “Come on Buck.” _

_He lead him away with an arm around his shoulders, Tony helpless to do anything save watch them go. A terrible ringing in his ears. _

_“Iron Man,” Steve turned to him, those endless sky blue eyes on him, “Come with us,” he urged. _

_For a heartbeat, he desperately wanted too. He longed to run away from this cluster fuck of a mess…the Accords…everything._

_“You know my place is at Mr. Stark’s side,” he finally managed, the sob threatening to erupt, as he bit his cheek viciously. _

_Steve smiled at him sadly, “I know Shellhead.” _

_He watched them leave, disappearing out of the bunker and into the night. _

_He fell to his knees then, the sorrow finally overwhelming him as he wept bitterly for his parents, for himself, for the things he'd never have..._

Chest heaving he came awake, throat raw and cheeks wet. Breath hitching he tried to get himself centred, struggling to recall where he was. He wasn’t in that wretched bunker, he was…he was…

The warm voice of Friday was relaying the date the time, reminding him of the location bringing him back.

Slowly, painfully he sat upright, hand unconsciously clutching his aching chest. His breath slowly evening out, as his heart rate slowed to something more manageable. Roughly he scrubbed his face, unmindful of the snot, sweat, and tears. Every night…every goddamn night since that bunker. It was like his subconscious was stuck on a loop. Of all the shitty things that had happened to him in his life, apparently, Steve choosing Barnes over him was the one that had hurt him the most.

A hitching sob caught him and he clenched his jaw, “Fuck sakes, it’s been six months!”

Angry at himself he tore the sheets off stomping towards the bathroom determined to put it out of his mind.

He moved through his morning routine refusing to wallow, he was Tony fucking Stark, he was not going to moon over some unrequited love.

At least that’s what he told himself.

Dressed in his workout gear he moved to the elevator on autopilot as he headed for the gym. The tower was silent and dark as he moved through it, the others long gone.

Pushing the nightmare from his mind he started his usual workout, setting a brutal, punishing pace until he was wheezing and gasping for air. Then going further still.

Not like anyone was going to stop him.

Rhodey had moved the compound months ago to oversee the newbies, and he was doing so much better now. Tony was proud of him, back in fighting form. Pepper was starting her new life, with her new husband, and he…he was stuck here in an empty tower, lonely and alone. In love with a man who had no idea who he was.

Angry he did another circuit before his legs began to shake and his arms burned.

Tired he dragged himself to the showers, ignoring his reflection as he briskly cleaned and dressed. He didn’t need to look, he knew he looked awful. Deep purple bruises under his eyes, more grey in his hair, the lines in his forehead a little deeper…it didn't matter though, no one saw much of Tony Stark anymore.

All anyone ever saw was Iron Man.

Dressed in comfy jeans and a t-shirt he stopped for a coffee on the empty common room floor before heading to his workshop. He tried his best not to let the melancholy memories creep in, but they were there tickling the edges of his mind, reminding him of a time when they’d all been together.

When they’d been happy.

“Nope,” he grit his teeth again, stepping off the elevator and into the workshop.

Turning his focus to the mountain of projects waiting for him, the memories receded to the back of his mind.

-#-#-#-

It felt like he was underwater.

The sounds were soft and muted, distant at first, but growing closer by the moment. His eyes felt heavy, tired, but he struggled to open them anyway. They didn’t like to be kept waiting he needed to get up and get moving….

“Bucky?”

The voice was closer, clearer, he opened his eyes blinking sluggishly. He hadn’t heard that name in a long, long time…they only ever called him the Asset.

"Can you hear me, Buck?"

The world was getting clearer, crisper, he blinked again the room was sterile white and clean. The soft hum of machines rumbled quietly in the background, he glanced around, this wasn’t Hydra.

“Buck, it’s ok, you’re safe…safe here in Wakanda.”

He blinked once, twice, before it came flooding back. He closed his eyes as pain lanced through his chest, he remembered….he remembers Siberia, he remembered the bunker….he had killed his friend without hesitation.

So many….

“Hey, are you ok?”

Steve was still talking to him, his voice soft with concern. Of course, he wasn't ok…he wasn't going to be ok.

None of this was ok.

He opened his eyes looking anywhere but into the blue eyes of his friend, afraid Steve would see the truth…he wasn’t the man he’d once been.

-#-#-#-

Tony idly sipped his coffee as he read through the reports.

He’d been receiving weekly updates on the progress of Sargent James Buchanan Barnes; well it was only to be expected, he was the one that had to reengineer BARF for the express purpose of working through a traumatic experience. If anyone could take the machine through its paces it was a brainwashed, ex-Hydra assassin.

Swiping to the next page he paused coffee cup halfway to his mouth as the next line jumped out at him; Sergeant Barnes was awake.

Curious he set the cup aside leaning forward on his stool, absently pushing his glasses up his nose. He had no idea Barnes was up and about…no doubt Steve was happy. He tromped down the irrational flare of jealous and hurt that came with the thought. 

He was over this…over him…Steve had made it abundantly clear just who he had chosen, and it sure as shit hadn’t been him.

Ignoring the clench of his jaw he read on, his anger and irritation slowly melting into confusion and curiosity.

_Captain Rogers reports Sergeant Barnes had been acting out of character. _

Tony frowned, the system wouldn’t fundamentally change who the person was…at least it shouldn’t unless it was malfunctioning terribly.

_Captain Rogers has expressed concern that the binarily augmented retro—framing system has damaged Sergeant Barnes. _

Tony froze as he read and re-read the almost page and a half of concerns Captain America had expressed. Unconsciously he smoothed a rough hand across his jaw, something uncomfortable rolling through him.

It wasn’t his system, it couldn’t be, it wouldn’t….

Shaking his head he closed the report, it wasn’t his problem.

He’d done his part, more than he really should have. He didn’t owe Barnes anything more…did not owe Steve anything more.

Pushing it from his thoughts he returned to his current project, he'd promised Pep a new line of cutting edge wearable tech devices and he was going to finish them damit, he was not going to think about Barnes or Rogers.

He lasted an hour.

“Fuck,” he bit out the curse throwing aside his soldering iron as he burnt his hand again. He was Irritated. Plane and simple. He was irritated that it was bothering him so…irritated he was letting it….but mostly he was irritated that he knew he was going to go to Wakanda.

Crashing around the lab he shut everything down grabbing the reports off his desk, before stomping towards the door.

“Fuck!” he hollered at no one in particular before he slammed the door shut behind him.

-#-#-#-

He shifted on his bed slightly, the pain in his shoulder spiking with the movement, a constant painful reminder of the things he’d been. He needed to get it looked at, he knew that. But he hadn’t….he hadn’t felt comfortable to let anyone near him look at it. Not even Steve.

He blinked slowly staring at a fixed point of the wall of his room trying to keep his movements small and contained. Less movement meant less pain. He tried to pull back from his body, let his mind drift into a hazy in between where he didn’t need to think or feel. An old habit from his Hydra puppet days.

He shifted again; agony ripped through him.

He clenched his jaw gritting his teeth, it was bad today. The pain moving from his shoulder into his back, creeping up into his head. It hurt so bad. 

He needed to…he needed to tell someone.

Slowly he stood, fighting back the wave of nausea the rose in him. Carefully he shuffled out of his room. The door slid open automatically, thankful the palace was dark and quiet outside his door. He hadn’t realized it was so late, he needed to go see Princess Shuri.

Panic slipped through the haze of pain that pressed in his head. She was the only person he had managed to speak more than two words too. He liked her, she was quick and intelligent, she has a personality that seemed to sparkle brightly. She also expected nothing of him and he liked that too.

  
What if she wasn’t there?

The pain spiked again, stomach rolling unpleasantly, he’d let it go too far. Swallowing thickly he forced himself to move, feverish and hot he was forced to pause on the stairs to collect himself several times. The minutes felt like they stretched into hours, and when he finally drew close to her lab he felt a brief wash of relief that the lights were blessedly on.

Sucking in a fortifying breath he waited for the doors open, the thumping music from inside washing over him. Only it wasn't the screaming noises the Princess usually listened to…it was softer, more mellow.

Shuffling further he glanced around the space, it looked empty but that couldn’t be?

“Sorry was the music too loud? I won’t be too much-” the distinctly male voice trailed off as figure appeared at the far end of the lab, pausing in a small pool of light.

It was not Princess Shuri.

James blinked, frozen in place, unable to help but tense, there was a stranger….the pain ripped through him running from his arm up to his spine and screaming into his head. Clenching his jaw against the scream that wanted to rip from his throat he swallowed down the bile. He blinked, but his vision was graying around the edges, his disjointed thoughts harder to hold onto.

The unknown man hadn’t moved, hadn’t said a word, the silence thick cloying around James as his heart hammered, and his head throbbed. The pain in his shoulder wasn’t ebbing this time, and he staggered sure he was about to fall on his face.

Suddenly strong hands were steadying him, they felt cool against his fevered skin. It was the strange man, closer now, James blinked at the dark hair a riot of messy curls about his head, he tried to focus on his eyes, sure he saw concern in them.

He opened his mouth to speak or vomit he wasn’t sure, but the choice was made for him when he staggered into the man emptying the meagre contents of his stomach before the swirling darkness at the edges of his mind pulled him under.

-#-#-#-

It was not the meeting he’d anticipated with Barnes.

Truth be told he hadn't planned on meeting the man at all, he was just here to check on the programming. Still faintly chapped that Steve’s comments had got to him, gnawing at him until he’d come to see for himself. He’s been thankful Cap was away when he’d arrived, unsure about how to act around the man. The last time he’d met him as Tony Stark it had caused a civil war. As Iron Man…he pulled his thoughts away from that, the wound still to raw.

It had been nice to finally meet Shuri though, the Princess was smart, far smarter then he and he wasn't afraid to admit it. She reminded him of Peter and Harley, clever kids that were not going to fuck things up as he had. It gave him hope for the future. 

The Princess though had been reluctant to leave him unsupervised in the lab, not that Tony blamed her he wouldn’t trust him either. But there was some big soiree tonight and pretty much everyone was there.

Except him, because dammed if he was going to figure out the problem.

Deep in the guts of the machine, he’d been a little surprised to hear the door, but figured it was Shuri coming to check upon him. Needless to say, he’d been taken aback to see the pale, hollow-eyed brunette flushed and trembling in the middle of the lab.

Barnes looked beyond awful.

And apparently, he'd felt awful too, because as soon as Tony had steadied him he’d promptly thrown up all over his three thousand dollar suit before passing out in his arms.

Dumbfounded he stood frozen and blinking as he tried to process what had just happened. Staring down into the pale face he finally got moving, easily swinging the man into his arms, Barnes was far underweight for his size.

Carefully Tony laid him out on the comfy looking exam table, wrinkling his nose at the sour stench of vomit.

It appeared to be mostly bile, which made sense since the man was clearly not eating anything of substance. Making sure Barnes was settled he moved to the far end of the workshop, where it connected to a medical room of sorts that was far better stocked then his lab; he was thinking about stealing the design.

Wetting a towel he returned to the unconscious man, gently cleaning his face and dabbing at his shirt. Tony tried not to think too hard about why he felt the need to be so gentle. Something was curling in his chest, something he was desperately shying away from.

Realizing his efforts to wipe off Barnes’s shirt was futile he sighed trudging back to the small medical bay. Pausing he grabbed his overnight bag on the way by. He'd come directly from his jet to the lab, too focused on what he'd potentially messed up on to think of much else. Figuring Barnes would be ok for the moment he quickly shed his ruined suit and tugged on the jeans and old MIT hoodie he’d grabbed, thankful for the moment the other man hadn’t thrown up on his hoodie at least; it was his favourite. 

Bundling up the clothing and tucking it into his bag he picked up a blanket and a first aid kit before returning to his charge.

The scientist in him was curious as to why Barnes was sick, Steve didn't get sick, and supposedly Barnes had also been jacked up by some sort of super-soldier serum… he frowned, maybe it was his machine?

He winced at the thought, suddenly feeling guilty as he set his supplies aside before turning his focus to Barnes. Carefully he reached for the soiled, loose t-shirt he wore, working the material up his torso, revealing the pale, scar littered flesh. He frowned as he lifted it the man's ribs easily able to see each one. With gentle hands, he worked it over the dark head and off. 

Immediately realizing the cause of Barnes’s illness.

He hissed audibly this time, "Christ…" he mumbled wrinkling his nose as he carefully looked over the infected tissue around the metal implant on his shoulder. Tony could feel the heat radiating off the man, it was little wonder he was so sick. The reports had said they had removed his arm before cryo, but the doctors hadn’t been able to get close enough to him to look into it further.

He shook his head, he didn’t blame Barnes, Tony wouldn't want anyone poking around in his chest. Still, something needed to be done, the ex-assassin needed something a little stronger than a band-aid though. 

Retreating to the med bay he pulled the strongest antibiotic they had, as well as a little something for the pain, he was none too sure it would work on a super-soldier but it was worth a shot. Barnes was clearly in a bad way.

Briskly he injected Barnes with the medicine, got a cold cloth on his forehead, covered him with a blanket before he set about investigating the cause. Leaning against the table Barnes lay on in case the man decided to roll onto the floor, he called up all the medical scans, sliding his glasses up his nose as he carefully studied the images.

Barnes’s arm was a nightmare of metal and tissue.

Hydra had not been kind, the thing was anchored to his bones, the metal looked to be wearing away, and something was attaching the whole thing to his nervous system…Jesus, it was a terrifying piece of technology.

He’d thought being hooked up to a car battery had been bad.

A soft moan drew him from his thoughts, turning back to the man on the table he noted that pale, pain pinched face looking at him, eyes feverish and over bright.

“How you feeling?” he asked, keeping his voice soft and low.

Barnes grimaced, without a word Tony grabbed a bottle of water, holding it to the other's lips, he gingerly supported his upper body. Letting the man have small sips, he lowered him back down taking careful precaution not to bump the inflamed shoulder.

“What happened?” Barnes croaked still looking out of it.

Tony hummed setting the water aside, “You threw up on me then collapsed.”

Pale eyes blinked, “Sorry,” he rasped.

Grinning Tony shrugged, “Not the first time it’s happened, but the bigger issue is what to do about that metal Soviet nightmare attached to you.”

The look of absolute terror he saw steal over the other man’s face made his heart thump painfully before his expression shuttered again.

“Hey, no nothing bad, just want to make you better.”

Barnes was clutching the blanket looking as though he was trying to curl in on himself.

“Better?” His voice sounded so small in the large lab.

Tony nodded slowly, “Here, take a look,” he pulled the floating graphic of his shoulder forward, spinning it into a 3D model. Barnes had rolled onto his right side hugging the blanket around himself.

Tony explained, making sure to keep his words soft, and simple, the man was burning with an infection he didn't need a slew of technobabble.

“I can build a new anchor, one that will be safe, work with your immune system instead of against,” he concluded showing him the semi-finished design.

There was a beat of silence Tony suddenly aware that Branes had curled closer to him, enough that he could feel the heat rolling off the man, hear his soft shuddering breaths. Tony looked at the design studiously not daring to look at Barnes.

“Will it stop…will it stop the headaches?”

Tony thought carefully, mind moving in a million different directions as he worked through the problem. Biology wasn’t his forte but he wasn’t a slouch either, he wished Bruce was there…or perhaps Strange…

He was pulled from his thoughts by a gentle tug at his sweater. Freezing he glanced out of the corner of his eye, Barnes still looked awful flushed and sweaty, his eyes half-lidded as he grasped the soft material of Tony’s hoodie.

Tony wasn’t even sure Barnes knew what he was doing at that moment.

“It should stop them,” he finally answered quietly, “I promise we’ll get you better.”

Barnes grunted, Tony sure he’d fallen asleep before, “Thank you.”

The words hit him more then he would have thought possible, he swallowed thickly sitting still, unmoving even when the small curled figure’s grip relaxed a little on his shirt. Reaching out a shaking hand he carefully took the cool cloth, refolding it and setting it back in place. Hands stilling when the heated face gently leaned into the touch.

Tony pushed down the sudden wave of emotions.

Turning back to his plans he set to work, he’d made a promise after all, and was not going to break it.

-#-#-#-

He woke slowly, eyes blinking in the dim room as he took a moment to assess how he was feeling…carefully he shifted expecting the usual flair of pain; only there was nothing.

He moved his left shoulder again; nothing.

Surprised he sat up, hand going to his shoulder, pushing aside the rough hospital gown he blinked in disbelief, it looked good.

Well better than the last time he’d see it, the angry red, inflamed skin had settled, the tissue that met metal wasn’t raw painful. Gingerly he poked at it, feeling no pain. He moved his fingers from the skin to the metal, it felt different, lighter, not as heavy and oppressive. Carefully he flexed his shoulder, waiting tensely for that arc of pain to rip from his shoulder to his spine and head. Only none came. James breathed deep, clear, pain-free. 

He’d kept his promise.

“Buck!” the jubilant voice had him glancing to the door, Steve stood there looking, wide-eyed hopeful. 

“You’re awake, how do you feel?”

He blinked at the other man for a full minute, before he was grunting out, “Good.”

Steve was at his side, carefully handing him a cup of water, James took it sipping slowly, a hazy memory of warm, rough hands supporting him as he gulped down water popped into his head. 

“How long?” he rasped taking another gulp of liquid, soothing his throat.

Steve leaned against the bed, face pinched in concern, “Shuri said you’ve been out of it for almost two weeks. They had to do emergency surgery to replace your…” he trailed off, gesturing to his left side.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here Buck, I didn’t…I wouldn’t have gone if I’d known…” he looked pained, eyes wide and worried. 

James looked away, clenching his jaw, reminded once again of just how hard it was now being around Steve. Every time he called him Bucky, every time he looked at him sadly, hopefully…

“It’s fine,” he mumbled looking down at his lap.

There was an awkward silence then, James idly picking at the blanket with his right hand, wishing Steve would just go and feeling bad for feeling that way. He was secretly glad when Steve’s phone pinged, the big blonde making an apologetic face.

“Sorry, Buck, I’ll be back soon ok?”

James nodded relieved, it was harder now, being with Steve. He settled back on the bed as his long-ago friend left, relishing the clearness he felt in his head, in his arm, and back. It was an overwhelming relief.

The unknown man in the lab had done as he promised.

The thought of the man brought up more memories, but they felt somewhat fuzzy and muted, mostly fogged with the pain. He’d been in and out, but he could recall dark hair and eyes filled with concern. Strong, warm hands touching him carefully…he shivered at the remembrance of the rough callused fingers on him. A warmth rolling through him that had nothing to do with being sick, it had been so long since anyone had touched him…and he hadn’t hated it.

The man had been calming, his voice deep, smooth, James closed his eyes flushing in embarrassment at the vague memory of throwing upon him.

“Feeling better White Wolf?”

He recognized Shuri’s voice, opening his eyes he turned to the Princess busily tapping away on the thin transparent device in her hands.

“Yes,” he mumbled, “Thanks.”

She snorted looking up at him eyes dancing merrily, “Not me you should thank colonizer.”

James straightened sitting up once more, intent, Shur’si smile was far too wide and far too smug, "You have a guardian angel looking out for you.”

His mind immediately went to the unknown man with warm eyes, and strong hands.

Shuri was moving towards him, hologram projected before her. Fingers manipulating the technology easily. Briskly she checked the machines around him, “You should have told us, White Wolf, the infection nearly killed you."

James nodded, “Sorry.”

Shuri shook her head but looked at him fondly all the same, “Rest, feel better.”

She turned heading out when James finally gathered the courage to voice the question that pressed up from his chest.

“Princess?” he waited as she paused turning back to him, “The angel…who was it?”

He watched the play of emotions across her face, surprise melted into amusement before a wide Cheshire grin spread across her face. James waited, but she didn’t say a word, giving him a small wave before she left.

James watched her go, brow furrowing in confusion.

-#-#-#-

_“He’s my friend…” _

He woke suddenly, the heartbreaking words echoing his head. Blinking he slowly sat upright, head feeling muzzy as he absently wiped the tears from his face as his eyes glanced at the bedside clock, 3 AM….well fuck.

Knowing sleep wouldn’t come, he threw the covers off dragging his exhausted form into the bathroom. Moving on auto piolet he had himself dressed and headed to the gym fully intending to work out until he collapsed from exhaustion.

He was halfway there when Rhodey showed up appearing in his line of sight just as he pressed the bar over his head. Heaving with the effort he panted with exertion before he dropped the weights with a grunt.

Chest heaving he pulled his headphone off, offering his best friend a wide smile “Hey Sour Patch,” he panted lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe sweat from his forehead.

“Impressive Tones,” his friend arched an eyebrow at him, "250?”

Grinning lopsidedly he shrugged, "290."

Rhodey gave an impressive whistle, “Well you look good…great even.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “You sound surprised.”

Colonel James Rhodes gave him a flat, far too knowing look, “Well you don’t have the best track record when it comes to self-care.”

Sighing he ran a hand through sweat-soaked hair, fingers catching on the headband keeping the wet curls out of his face, "Fair point."

Chuckling Rhodey crossed his arms, “Breakfast?”

Tony nodded, joining his friend as they headed for the common floor, they didn’t talk about much of anything as they made breakfast. Tony asking after the compound and the new crop of Avengers, grinning as his friend related some of their shenanigans, but it seemed as though he and Carol had them well in hand.

“So Tones…word on the street is you were in Wakanda for two weeks…the same Wakanda as a certain Captain who shall remain nameless.”

Tony sighed, “Who squealed?”

“Friday, told me when I came ‘round last week, Tones…” he was making the all too familiar 'I'm seriously questioning your sanity face.'

Tony held up his hand stalling out whatever his friend was going to say, "I know what you’re thinking but it wasn’t that.”

Rhodey arched a brow at him, “Oh really? So you weren’t there to see Steve?”

Tony poked at his half-eaten eggs, "No actually I umm….I was there about Barnes.”

He didn’t dare look at his friend, he didn’t need too, he could already picture the look of disbelief on his face.

“Tones?”

Tony cleared his throat, “Yeah I….he….he needed help.”

He took a mouthful of cooling eggs, still unable to meet his best friend's gaze, to see the sympathy and pity in his face. He was the only one who knew, the only one in the world that knew he was Iron Man….that knew about his feelings for Steve…

“Tony…” he voice was soft, concern rolling off him.

He already knew what Rhodey was thinking, and he didn’t blame him. Tony had done some stupid shit where Steve was concerned, it made sense he believed he’d gone to help at Steve’s request. Technically he had gone because of Steve’s concerns in the reports, not because Steve had implicitly asked him…but Rhodey didn’t need to know.

Sighing Tony finally looked at him, “It’s not like that, I went to look at the programming in the machine…and he threw up on me.”

Rhodes laughed then looking surprised, “Really?”

Finding his smile Tony relayed his last two weeks to his best friend, trying his best to not let the confusing mess of emotions he’d been feeling to bleed into his tone. Tony hadn’t been able to put any sort of voice to all that was lodged in his chest.

The last two weeks had been a blur of worry, and concern, Barnes had been in an even worse state then Tony had thought when he’d collapsed in the lab that night. By the time he’d got Shuri, and the best team of surgeons Wakanda had to offer he’d managed to completely re-engineer a new shoulder for Barnes.

It’d been a blessing he’d been in Wakanda at the time because they were able to fabricate it within twelve hours. Tony had tried to pretend he wasn’t impressed.

What had taken the most time was removing the mess Hydra had made. They’d kept Barnes pretty doped up, but with whatever jacked-up version of the serum they'd given him had made it a bit of crapshoot trying to keep him under.

Often he’d wake during the surgery confused and terrified; Tony’s heart had broken for the man.

He hadn't intended to interject himself into the process, but he'd found himself holding tight to Barnes's real hand in comfort during the surgery as he carefully watched the removal process. He'd overseen the new implant as well, no doubt to the annoyance of the surgeons.

When it was all said and done, and Barnes had been recovering, he’d found himself unable to leave until he was sure he was out of woods.

While he’d waited, he’d built him a new arm.

“So he’ll be ok?” Rhodes looked thoughtful as he sipped his coffee.

Tony nodded, staring into his own, “Absolutely, he should be up now.”

Humming his friend rocked back on his chair and Tony finally looked up curious, he’d known Rhodey long enough to know when something was bothering the man.

“What?” he asked bluntly, already guessing he wasn’t going to like the answer.

There was a long beat of silence while Tony waited, his asshole friend took his sweet ass time.

“Steve called me,” he finally said voice soft, but seeming to echo ominously in the too empty room. Tony couldn’t help but tense…Steve hadn’t called him…well hadn’t called Iron Man.

"Oh?" he asked trying to seem casual.

“Yeah,” Rhodey sighed leaning heavily on one arm as he looked him in the eye, “He wants to come back.”

Tony shouldn’t be surprised, he really should have seen it coming…only he was.

It felt like he’d been hit in the chest. He had no idea what to say. He tried to focus on his breathing reminding himself to inhale and exhale, ignore the burning in his lungs, the heat pressing against his eyes.

“…at the Compound,” he realized Rhodey was speaking and he hadn’t heard a damn word. Clearing his throat he forced back the emotion, refusing to give in again. He’d shed enough damn tears over the man.

“Sorry, Rhodey, you were saying?"

He sighed heavily, “They want to bring him back in, having Captain America rouge is not ideal. They figure Carol can keep him in check. “

Tony nodded slowly, “Makes sense.”

“It…it need not affect you Tones, they’d be at the compound, we’d only really need Iron Man in an emergency.”

Tony found himself agreeing mechanically, thoughts drifting again, Steve coming back….and Barnes. It was going to be messy, he’d need to get legal and the PR department involved, he’d probably have to discuss with the…

“Look Tony if you don’t want it, say the word and…”

He sighed heavily, "And what James? Do we ignore them? Better to have them where we can keep an eye on them. It’ll take some time but well be able to do, just need to get the public on our side.”

Rhodes smiled at him shaking his head slightly, “You’re amazing Tony.”

He snorted looking away, heat flushing his cheeks, “I’m not, but nice of you to say.”

-#-#-#-

James glared at the paper filled with his untidy chicken scrawl. He’d lost count how many times he’d tried to put the words to paper, and he was damn close to just throwing this one away too. Nothing he wrote seemed to come out right…

Irritated he crumpled the paper tossing it away before grabbing a fresh sheet. He knew it was a little old fashioned, not many people wrote letters anymore, but somehow it seemed more genuine. For James it had felt easier to get the words out this way rather than through the computer.

_Dear Angel..._

He wrote for what felt like the hundredth time, he still had no idea of the man’s name. Shuri had called him his guardian angel though, and the moniker had stuck with him.

_I didn’t get a chance to thank you. _

He did want to thank him, he had done so much for him. He'd kept his promise, he took the pain. Freed him of that heavy burden.

It was so much simpler to talk to a man whom he could only remember in bits and pieces…it was strange to be more comfortable with a man whose name he didn’t even know.

Hunched over the small desk in his room, he wrote until the confusing jumble in his chest eased a little.

He didn’t read it this time, instead, he folded it carefully stuffing it in an envelope and sealing it before he could change his mind again. Determined he slipped out of his room moving swiftly and silently to Shuri’s lab.

“What do you want White Wolf?”

He paused, the girl had skills, he grunted noncommittally.

Shuri was not phased, she turned to him arching a brow, James was suddenly nervous. He looked down at the envelope clutched in his right hand. Letting out a breath he held it out to her. She took it, shooting him a curious look.

“Could you give that to….” He trailed off suddenly unaccountably embarrassed.

“To?” Shuri prompted.

Clearing his throat, he straightened his spine coming to attention, “To my guardian angel.”

She looked surprised for a moment before she grinned, a warm smile stretching her lips.

“Of course.”

-#-#-#-

Tony tapped his pen absently on his desk as he stared off into nothing. He didn't particularly want to be here today, but Pep needed some back up at the investor's meeting and he would have to be some sort monster to leave a pregnant woman on her own with those assholes. 

Still, he'd rather be anywhere but here, pretending not to notice the side eyes and whispers. He wasn't oblivious, he knew he'd changed…changed from the devil may care, playboy, to the eccentric recluse. They’d no doubt call him crazy, but he was too rich to be crazy.

“Mail Tony,” he looked up as Pepper bustled in tablet in one hand and a letter in the other.

“Like paper mail?” he asked incredulously, he couldn't remember the last time someone had sent him an actual letter.

“Yeah, showed up here addressed to you,” she handed it over absently, Tony accepting it as he turned it over in his hands curiously, recognizing the postmark; Wakanda.

He felt an odd sort of fluttering in his chest, had…had Steve sent him a letter?

“Meeting in 10 Tony, don’t be late,” Pepper was heading out, and Tony waved absently, staring at the letter in his hands intently.

He debated with himself a long moment before finally giving in and opening the brown envelope. Inside was another envelope, and a single sheet of paper. It was certainly strange, he glanced at the paper eyebrows climbing in surprise.

_Dear Tony, _

_James wanted me to send this letter to his ‘guardian angel’. _

_-Shuri_

He re-read the simple sentence again just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things, guardian angel?

Curiosity winning out he opened the second slowly unfolding the pages. The handwriting was a little messy but beautifully cursive, it had been a long while since he’d seen such elegent writing.

_Dear Angel, _

He blinked, Angel?

Frowning a moment he thought of Shuri’s crypt message, was it possible Barnes didn’t know who he was?

_I didn't get a chance to thank for what you did. I know we didn't meet under the ideal circumstances, and I am sorry about that. You didn't have to help me that night…I know a lot of people who wouldn't have._

He frowned as he read on realizing a few things heartbreakingly, first Barnes had no idea who he was, and two he had a very low opinion of himself.

_You kept your promise though, and I…and I just wanted you to know that meant a lot to me. I’m hoping Shuri will get this letter to you so you’ll know how grateful I am that you were there that night. Even if I never know your name, you were my guardian angel. _

_Sincerely, _

_James Buchanan Barnes _

Tony blinked at the letter in his hand stupidly, an odd twisting feeling in his chest. His throat suddenly seemed dry as he swallowed, the silence around him oppressive and heavy. Staring at the words, he just about came out of his skin when his phone vibrated loudly on his desk.

“Right the meeting…” he mumbled carefully he folded the letter, tucking it back in the envelope before he slid it into his folio as he headed for the boardroom. 

Tony tried to ignore the odd crush of feelings in his chest as he strode into the meeting barely noting the faces around him he took his seat moodily glaring at the tabletop. The meeting went on around him as he tried to pick apart the confusion he felt. He had not been expecting a letter from Barnes, had not been expecting anything truth be told. Yet here he had it; Barnes had thanked him.

Tony had no idea what to do with it.

“So as you can see our latest projections have stocks jumping exponentially…”

Tony tuned out the droning again, why hadn’t Shuri told Barnes who he was? Surely if he had put in this much effort into writing him, he must have asked about him. He slumped in his seat a little more, as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling beside him Pepper cleared her throat pointedly, he ignored her.

Why had Barnes written a letter of all things? No one wrote letters anymore, it was so…old fashioned….and sweet. The odd confusion of emotions was back.

Maybe…maybe he should right him back?

“What do you think Mr. Stark?”

He glanced up at the man, quickly rolling through the dialogue in his head, "We are not going to increase prices, the point of the assistive technology is that’s it’s available for everyone. Not just the wealthy.”

The board room was silent, no one daring to look at him. Nodding to himself he quickly stood tucking his folio under his arm, “Right then, think that’s enough for today.”

He headed out the doors without looking back; he had a letter to write.

-#-#-#-

“I’m not so sure Steve,” he mumbled quietly, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt.

“It’ll be fine Buck, really it’s for the best.” Steve sat beside him on the bed, big blue eyes full of expectation. James was still struggling to meet his gaze, he knew what Steve wanted….and he wasn’t sure he could do it.

“Look, once your name is cleared, we’ll get back to the compound and you’ll feel more like your old self,” he looked so hopeful, James winced. It was becoming a mantra with him ‘feel like your old self’. The problem was he didn’t ‘feel like his old self’….he didn’t think he ever would be again.

The Bucky Steve thought he knew no longer existed.

“You’ll get along with everyone I’m sure, I can’t wait for you to meet more of the others, Colonel Rhodes says they’ve been working hard with the lawyers...”

He tuned Steve out then, retreating into his head he began to plan the letter he wanted to send to Angel. He hadn’t intended to keep writing to A, to say he was surprised when he received a reply was an understatement. It had arrived with his name on it to the palace and a return address of a post office box in New York. The printing had been bold, confident, and hasty as if the writer was busy or absent-minded, his hand unable to keep pace with his thoughts. 

Still, it had been a pleasant surprise.

That first letter hadn’t been very revealing, James could feel the hesitation from the other man, as if he were unsure of himself, something that belayed the confident scrawl. Still, he'd taken the time to write him back, and James had been surprised and pleased, and somewhat curious when he’d signed the letter ‘A’. The name stuck.

Intrigued James had decided to press his luck; he’d written back.

He wasn’t sure if it had been out of boredom or perhaps loneliness... he was more included to believe it was the latter. Steve spent a lot of time away, he Sam and Natasha doing whatever it was they were doing. Shuri was always kind, and the Wankandaians friendly, but he’d been feeling less lonely when writing to A.

“Are you ok Buck?” Steve jarred him out of his head, and James automatically bobbed his head.

“Sure Steve,” he murmured. He hadn't told Steve about his mysterious Angel, not that he'd saved him in the lab, or that he'd been writing him. It felt too personal, like something that he just wanted to keep for himself.

“Good, I’m glad,” Steve patted his knee before he was standing, “I’ll be gone for a while look after yourself ok?”

He nodded watching as his friend left, easing back on the bed he pulled A’s most recent letter out from under his pillow re-reading the pages again; although he didn’t need to, he must have read it a dozen times by now. A had said he was going to be away for a while, he hadn’t said where but James had assumed it was for work. A seemed to work a lot, which made sense, he must be a genius of some sort, Shuri had said he’d rebuilt his implant in a few hours. 

Setting aside A’s letter he pulled out the notebook he’d been using and started penning his reply.

He hoped he would hear from A soon.

-#-#-#-

Tony moved slowly, carefully, his chest twinging painfully with even the smallest movements. He was supposed to be on bed rest for at least a week, but since when had he ever listened to sound reasoning?

Pulling the door to the post office open he stepped aside holding it for the elderly women exiting, who acknowledged him with thanks. Returning it, he stepped inside shuffling towards his PO box, trying to unsuccessfully convince himself he wasn’t eager to see if he had any letters from James.

He’d been out of communication for the last three weeks, doing some ‘undercover’ work with Rhodey. They’d been on the tail of some weapons dealers, who were still moving old SI merchandise. Tony would be lying if he’d said he hadn’t enjoyed making those assholes regret their life choices. Turning to quick the pull in his ribs reminded him that he hadn’t got off light, the last skirmish had left him with three busted ribs, a dislocated right shoulder, black eye, and a mild concussion.

Didn’t stop him from heading out to get the mail though.

Moving to the box he opened it, pleased when he saw several letters inside. Eagerly he pulled them out, counting six. He felt a warmth rise his chest.

Letters in hand he slowly headed back to the tower, trying to convince himself he wasn’t that excited, that he hadn’t been looking forward to hearing from James for the last three weeks.

He frowned at himself as he looked at the innocuous-looking envelopes in his hand, trying to reason out how he'd got here. How a letter of thank you had led to a six-month correspondence, by honest to god mail.

Moving painfully he got off the elevator in his workshop, absently patting Dum-E he paused to grab an ice pack from his mini-fridge before settling on his ratty couch, carefully arranging his sore frame down he set the ice pack on his shoulder. Turning his attention to the letters, he found the earliest one opening it.

Leaning back he felt a smile tug his lips as he read, the familiar cursive lines, finally feeling some of the tension began to bleed out of him. It felt familiar, comforting, as he read the thoughts of James.

Tony wasn't sure when the tone of their letters had shifted from a polite acquaintance to a more intimate one. One where they shared thoughts and feelings, emotions that Tony was sure he could never vocalize if he tried. He's found himself being frighteningly honest on paper, and as they exchanged letters the connection had deepened.

And somewhere along the way, Barnes had become James.

The man who’d confessed to his fears and the hopelessness he felt now. How hard a time he was having trying to acclimatize to his new life, and his new self, about how much his nightmares haunted him.

Tony could empathize, and had, confessing to his fears and nightmares that plagued him.

It was easier through the letters.

Reaching the end of the final letter he found himself pausing, breath catching in his throat;

_I guess I’ll be coming back to the US soon, I was wondering…if perhaps you wanted to, we could maybe meet up? Your letters have meant a lot to me these last few months, and I’d like to see you again. I understand if maybe you don’t, but if you do…_

_Hope to hear from you soon. _

_Sincerely, _

_James_

_PS I promise I won’t throw up on you this time. _

Tony snorted a laugh at the postscript but focused on the last words again. James was coming back soon, he seemed to recall Rhodey mentioning something about Steve and the others moving into the compound shortly. He hadn't realized just how soon.

He exhaled heavily moving to run his right hand through his hair only to wince when he forgot about his shoulder. “Damit,” he mumbled, putting the ice pack back before he turned his attention back to the letter.

Did he want to see James? Part of him wanted to, but part of him was terrified as well. He liked it …this…whatever this was they had through the letters. Only James didn't know who he was…he’d been hesitant to divulge his identity at first, but he hadn’t wanted to outright lie either, so he’d signed his letters simply A. It wasn’t technically a lie.

He sighed heavily leaning his head back and closing his eyes. It was bad enough he was lying to the world about being Iron Man…now he was lying to James about being Tony Stark.

What on earth was he going to do?

-#-#-#-

James wasn’t ready for this.

He felt the anxiousness pressing in his chest as he fought to breathe normally. He had known it was coming, Steve had been telling him for months that they were going to go back, that they’d all be a team…that James was going to be an Avenger.

The thought terrified him. He didn't want to be an Avenger…he didn't want to fight anyone. He just wanted to be. He’d been unable to tell any of this to Steve though, he’d tried a couple of times but the blonde hasn’t been willing to listen. Assuring him that once he settled in he’d be ‘his old self.’

He was getting sick of hearing that.

The jet jolted under him and the anxiety was winning, he took a gasping choking breath that was lost to the roar of the engine. They were touching down and James’s world was narrowing, his vision blacking around the edges as he struggled to get air in his lungs.

Steve was already moving leaving him as he headed outside. James heaved trying to force air into his desperate lungs. He could do this, he could…he just needed to get off the plane.

Taking a few more gulps of air he managed to get a marginal hold on his anxiety.

“Buck you coming?”

He heard Steve call to him and he forced his limbs to move, he counted in his head, trying to recall some of the strategies A had to recommend in one of his letters. He was having trouble remembering them though.

James had confided in one of his letters about the tightness and pain in his chest, the shortness of breath and panic he’d get. He’d remembered he’d had these feelings before…but it had never been as bad as it was now. In his day they'd called them cowards. 

It had been A who’d explained what anxiety was, what an attack was, and that it was nothing to be ashamed of.

He moved slowly off the jet, there was a crowd of people waiting for them, and James felt his anxiety spike. He didn’t know these people…strangers…

He clenched his metal arm, the one A had made him, as he tried to focus. He wanted desperately to run back onto the jet, to go back to Wakanda where it was safe and familiar. He didn’t want to be here, he wanted to run...

Suddenly his ever graying vision was filled with colour, red and gold…and at the center a pulsing blue light. James clenched his jaw trying not to sound like he was strangling like he was choking for air…his chest burning.

“Your arm is amazing, how many plates are on your forearm?”

The voice was deep, mechanically modulated, but James found himself listening. His eyes were automatically looking at his forearm, he focused on the contours of it, finding himself slowly counting,

“My plates look similar,” the calm voice was speaking again, and his gaze drifted to the red metal forearm. The plates were similar, his eyes followed the curves concentrating on the movements.

“My suit is powered with this,” he tapped the blue light in his chest, the subtle pulse of colour was interesting, James found the panic fading a little, a thread of curiosity moving through him.

“Around the outside is the housing unit, the whole suit can retract into it,” a metal finger outlined the blue light, really the whole suit could fit in there?

"The faceplate retracts as well," his metal fingers moved to tap at his face, James following the movement to look at the faceless mask, but somehow he knew whoever it was inside was looking at him. 

“You can touch if you want too, can your arm feel?”

James nodded jerkily reaching out before he even really thought, he could feel the metal on the forearm. It was smoother then his own, lighter, he ran his metal fingers curiously down to the other fingers. He could feel the articulation of the joints of his fingers, his wrist, to his elbow.

“Your arm is very quiet, I can’t hear it move,” the words were soft, and James was focusing on the sounds around him. He could hear the murmur of voices at the far end of the landing area, a quiet hum, almost inaudible from the man before him, the Iron Man…

James suddenly realized he wasn't panicking anymore, his chest was loose, he could breathe again. He took a deep breath, exhaling surprised as he finally looked up, realizing what Iron Man had been doing.

“Thank you,” he mummed shakily, but grateful he hadn’t embarrassed himself. 

“Buck!” Steve appeared around Iron Man, all smiles.

“I see you met ol’ Shell head,” James watched as he nudged the man, his actions companionable and familiar.

“Was just introducing myself, good to see you Wing head,” Iron Man returned, joking and light.

He watched as Iron Man turned and the pair shared a brief embrace, James feeling a pang of something…jealously? He shook his head, that wasn’t right, he was just mixed up, emotions tangled from his almost panic attack. Why would he be jealous of Steve?

He just wanted Iron Man to look at him again, and that was a ridiculous thought.

“Come on Rhodes will show you to your quarters,” the modulated voice was calling again and he found himself tracking the man in metal as he turned, fighting the urge to grab onto the suit as he followed the others into the compound.

-#-#-#-

He hadn’t planned to meet the others.

Rhodey and Carol were more than capable of handling Steve and the rest of the Rouges. Only he’d found himself standing there on the landing pad, listening to himself sweat as Steve had wandered off the jet, breaded, and shaggy headed, haloed in the setting sun.

It’d felt like a punch to his chest.

God, he looked beautiful and so goddam perfect.

His breath caught and his chest ached, and he knew this had been a terrible idea. He was about to tell Rhodey as much before he fabricated an excuse and got the hell out of dodge when the last figure emerging from the plane caught his eye; James.

Looking past the jovial Cap he could see James was in a bad way. He looked better than when he'd last seen him, but at the moment he was sweaty, pale, and looking like he wanted to be anywhere else. He knew that look and he knew it well, the man was boarding on an all-out panic attack.

Before he could reason himself away Tony was moving, angling his body to shield him from the others.

He hadn’t planned it, acting on instinct, and before he knew it he was watching those pale eyes gain focus, the interest and the intensity slowly come back.

And when James had finally looked at him, Tony’s breath had caught; he was gorgeous.

Then Steve was there, hugging him, and his stupid pathetic heart had flipped in his chest.

Sighing he turned his attention back to his work, he had things to invent, and technologies to reengineer. Calling up a new file, he paused briefly wondering how James was doing.

He hoped he was feeling better.

-#-#-#-

James hated the compound.

It was amazing yes, the height of technology, lavish, with every modern convenience. He should be comfortable here, healing…or at least that was what Steve told him.

James was struggling. It was too crowded, there were too many people, too busy…and he had nowhere to hide.

It was hard for him to be around so many, hell he’d been happily living in a hut on the edge of Wakanda for the last four months, and now he was living with all these strangers… because Steve wanted him here.

He heaved a shuddering breath curling his knees closer to himself as he balanced his notebook on them. He was on his third attempt at a letter to A, he’d been at the compound for a week trying to find the words he wanted. His last letter had been before he’d left Wakanda, full of his fears of the future and the hesitant hope that perhaps he’d be able to meet A.

He felt the small flush creep across his cheeks, he knew it was stupid to have a crush on a man he’d barely met once, but he hadn’t been able to help it. A had been the first person to listen to him, sure it was via letter, but….it had been what he needed.

The therapists, Steve…they’d all told him what they wanted to be.

Everyone wanted him to be ok, especially Steve. The big blonde was desperate to have his friend back, the outgoing personable Bucky that he had been in the war.

Only that Bucky didn’t exist anymore. He wasn’t sure he’d ever really existed except in Steve’s faded memories.

He closed his eyes tight, feeling the tears push behind them. This is who he was, even before Hydra, he’d been a scared, anxiety-ridden mess…Hydra had just taken what was there and turned it up to eleven. Every weakness, every insecurity laid bare…and he was so tired of fighting it, of trying to be strong.

He wasn’t Steve Rogers, Captain America, he was just James Barnes.

Wiping his nose he froze as a soft rap sounded at his bedroom door, “Bucky?”

He recognized Steve’s voice, he curled in on himself tighter, holding his breath as he pressed his back against the closet wall. He barely dared to breathe as he waited, listening as the man moved away from the door before he shakily exhaled.

Stifling a sob he looked at the paper through blurry eyes, handshaking he pressed it to the paper movements mechanical as he wrote. No plan to his words, no rhyme or reason, he found his secrets tumbling out onto the page, if for no other reason than someone else in knowing the real him. 

-#-#-#-

The letter broke his heart.

He re-read it again, a tightness and desperation in his chest. He could feel the emotion rolling off the page. James was terrified, heartbroken, and the only one who knew it was him.

He was up pacing his workshop as he chewed absently at his thumb, what was he going to do?

James still had no idea who he was, how Tony had no idea, clearly, the man hadn’t done much in the way of internet searches. As far as James knew, he was an engineer in New York, who did a lot of freelance work.

He paused as a thought occurred to him, “Wait…Fri, that email Rhodey sent about the compound.”

“Yes Boss, Colonel Rhodes sent you a rather lengthy list of current mechanical issues at the compound, including a blocked kitchen sink.”

“This could work,” he mumbled moving to his computer calling up the email. He knew Rhodey had sent it as a joke, well mostly, but this was maybe his answer.

“Fri where are the other Avengers?” He tapped away scrolling through the list.

“Maximoff is currently working with Dr. Strange, Barton and Lang are off for the week with their families. Thor is off-world for an unknown amount of time, Dr. Banner is in Stockholm for a conference, and Colonel Rhodes and Danvers had taken the others for a week on a training exercise.”

He winced, “When did they leave Fri?”

“Last night Boss, Sergeant Barnes did not go with them.”

Friday confirmed what he already expected.

“This can defiantly work,” he nodded, “Shut it down Fri, and give James the heads with there will be a maintenance person at the compound in the next hour or so.”

Heading out of the lab he ran to pack a bag, the sooner he got there the better he’d feel about it.

-#-#-#-

James frowned, trying to ignore his grumbling stomach. He was hungry, something he’d often ignored, but A had been encouraging him to make sure he ate when he was hungry.

He sighed heavily looking down at his hands, he hadn’t heard from A since he’d sent the letter a couple of days ago. He’d thought perhaps being in the same country the reply would have been a little quicker...maybe he should give in and get a phone like Steve kept trying to get him to do, maybe A would give him his number.

The thought made his cheeks heat, it’d be a lot quicker than letters.

His stomach reminded him of his more pressing problem, he needed food. He hadn’t eaten since yesterday, he should eat, the only stopping him was a stranger in the compound.

Friday had informed him there was a maintenance man here, seeing to the issues in the compound. He didn’t like strangers. He was barely able to deal with the Avengers.

His stomach growled again.

Squaring his shoulders he headed to the kitchen, moving quickly and quietly. He was almost there when he heard the music. He froze eyes wide, the lights were on in the kitchen, he began to panic, there was someone there. 

He heard a banging noise further inside and James spotted a pair of legs sticking out from under the sink. There was a muffled curse, and the thunk of metal on metal, followed by the sound of water.

The cursing got worse, and James saw a spray of water shoot across the kitchen before whoever it was managed to get it stopped. Still cussing a blue streak James felt a small smile tug his lips as the man emerged from under the sink soaking wet.

He saw a dark head of wet hair before the figure turned and James's felt as if time stood still.

Angel

It was his Angel.

He suddenly needed to get close to him. He needed to see his eyes if they were as dark and warm as he remembered. See if his hands were still as rough and gentle as he fantasized.

Without a thought he was moving across the kitchen, "Angel.." the name fell from his lips, a hoarse rasp.

He could see the man freeze before he was slowly turning, James held his breath. Those eyes met his, and he exhaled in a rush, his memory had not done them justice.

“Hello James,” he spoke, a familiar soothing voice, a voice he’d only heard in his head for the last six months. A voice that was finally speaking his name.

A million emotions raced through him, so fast he thought his chest might burst. Without thought or consideration, he was in his space, trembling hands reaching for him, before he hesitated…maybe he shouldn’t.

Then suddenly there were strong arms gathering him close, pulling him against a strong, albeit wet chest. James went willingly tucking his face into the warm neck as he held onto him for dear life.

They stayed that way, for how long James didn’t know, all he cared about was the warm arms around him.

It was his growling stomach that finally ended the moment, as blushing he pulled away hastily wiping at his eyes.

“Hungry?” A’s voice as warm and faintly amused.

He nodded, trying to hide behind his curtain of hair.

“Have a seat I’ll whip you up something,”

Slowly, never taking his eyes off the other James sat staring, still not quite believing he was here. Which brought the question tumbling from his lips before he could stop it.

“How?” he managed.

A turned to him grinning as he pulled a carton of eggs from the fridge, “Omelets ok?”

James nodded, eyes tracing over every inch of the man, filling in the hazy gaps in his memory. He vividly remembered the dark hair and eyes, but he hadn’t remembered the neatly trimmed goatee. Or the olive skin, wide shoulders and confident brace of his feet. His hands though, he’d remembered those strong capable hands.

“I got an interesting offer in my email," he said in that same soft voice, that seemed to command attention. James met his eyes.

“There was a job doing some maintenance on a cutting edge facility in upstate New York, and I had thought,” he shrugged winking and James knew he was blushing.

“Well was more sort of hoping,” his smile was wide and genuine.

James let out an exhale of air finding a small grin, “I’m glad you took the job.”

A looked up at him smiling, “Me too.”

-#-#-#-

“Pass those wire cutters,” he reached a hand up and out of the hole in the floor, feeling the cool weight of the cutters in his palm. Pulling his arm up he adjusted his position flashlight in his mouth as he worked. Sweat poured from his forehead, in the hot confined space, as he tried to find the frayed connection.

He was thankful to have something to focus on at the moment, the confusing mess of emotions that had welled up on seeing James again was proving hard to work through. Breakfast had been a little awkward after James had hugged him, they were still a little stiff and formal around each other, despite the letters they shared. It was as if each of them was hesitant to breach that last little divide.

“What is it you’re trying to fix then?” James’s soft tone carried through the opening in the floor.

Tony cursed as the stripped wire in his hand sparked, “Something is causing intermittent surges and I need to figure out why, as it keeps shorting out the lights and for some reason half the power outlets.” He explained around the mouthful of the flashlight.

He could hear James make a soft noise of understanding from somewhere above him.

He worked in silence a long while, focused on his task as he carefully worked through the bundle of wires. It wasn’t an unpleasant quite, but it did fell…anticipatory. Tony had never been very good at relating his feelings, hell James knew as much about him as Rhodey did and that was saying something.

“I’m glad you’re here,” the voice was soft, so much so Tony wasn't sure if he'd heard it or if it was just in his head. He paused in his work, waiting, sweat working its way down his back and soaking the shirt he wore under his coveralls.

“It’s been hard, a lot harder than…” James trailed off a small sound that might have been a muffled sob seeping into his words. Tony closed his eyes taking a steadying breath, this is why he’d come, why he’d foolishly shown up here with the very real possibility that at the time any of the others may return early and James would learn who he was.

“I’m sorry,” he heard the other’s breath hitch.

Tony couldn't let that be, he wiggled out from his spot, soaked with sweat and dirt, he turned to James.

“Nothing to be sorry for, I…I got your letter, the last one. I wanted to come.”

James was very studiously not looking at him, eyes downcast, hands twisting together nervous.

“I’m sorry,” he said again.

Tony reached out taking his real right hand in his, “James you have nothing to be sorry for, it’s ok to not be ok.”

He waited watching as slowly, pale blue eyes looked up at him through the curtain of dark hair. “Really?”

His voice was so torn, full of hopeful desperation, it made his chest ache, “Yes, we’re all a mess James, believe me, I know.” He offered him a crooked smile, James returning it slowly, a sweetness in his expression that took his breath. Tony felt his heart stutter in his chest and it gave him pause…he hadn't felt a warmth like that since Steve…

He looked away first, back down at the hole in the floor the lower half his body was still in, “How about I finish this and we’ll get some lunch?”

James nodded at him, that sweet smile lingering about his lips.

Tony swallowed thickly, wondering what on earth was happing.

-#-#-#-

James fussed with his appearance in the mirror, eyeing his frame critically. He smoothed his metal hand over his soft grey t-shirt, before he gathered his hair back, tying back out of his face in a sloppy bun. For the first time since he could remember he wanted to look good. He used to care, Steve had said he had cared, but all he knew was tonight he wanted to look good.

He wanted to look good for A.

He knew he was being stupid, this crush he had was silly and ridiculous…and hopeless. What on earth would anyone want with a brainwashed, ex-assassin that was prone to crippling panic attacks and nightmares? He knew he wouldn’t.

A was charming and funny, and so sweet and supportive. He was the only person who knew the real him and didn’t go running into the night. It was still hard to believe he was even here…James frowned a little, he’d been reluctant to press too hard, he should ask at least what his real name was. Only something was stopping him…a fear…a fear that this fragile wonderful thing could unravel at any moment and James honestly didn’t think he’d survive if it did.

Pushing aside the unpleasant thoughts he checked himself one more time before going to meet A in the kitchen, pausing at the smell of Italian in the air. Humming pleased he entered feeling his cheeks heat as the man turned to him. He wasn’t wearing the work coverall anymore, he was in worn jeans, black t-shirt, and grey hooding causally zipped with the sleeve pushed to his elbows. James felt his eyes fastened on those forearms, wondering if he’d always had a thing for hands or was it simply something about this man.

A reached to place the plates on the table, and James watched the way the muscles moved under the light. A warm roll of desire catching him off guard.

“Hungry?” A was smiling at him warmly and he found himself nodding in return, still taken aback by the new feelings of lust. Moving he joined him at the kitchen table. Surprised and pleased to see his favourites laid out on the table. 

“Unfortunately, I am no good at Italian, but I remembered you writing about it being your favourite.”

James blinked up at him, he was right, he had written about that…he’d told him and he’d remembered…he glanced back to his dinner cheeks burning. A sat across from him as they dug in, the conservation coming easier. They didn't talk of anything too serious as they ate, A sharing some stories of his failed engineering adventures, making James grin.

“Honestly, I’m thinking about turning that damn bot into a wine rack,” he mumbled as he sipped his pop.

"I'd like to meet him someday,” James said hesitantly, panicking that he was maybe being to forward.

“I’d like that,” A smiled at him, and James felt that flutter in his chest again.

Dinner ended soon after and they tidied the kitchen packing up the leftovers, while James did his best not to let the panic back in. The thought of having to go back to his room and be alone again was terrifying. He wanted to stay longer with A, the man had a gentleness about him, and almost softness, but something about him hinted at a hidden strength. It called to him in a way that James hadn't felt before. 

“I umm…did you want to watch a movie?” he ventured, the words tumbling out before he could think better of them.

A looked at him, dark eyes intense, but that warm smile was doing wonderful things to his insides, “Of course, if you don’t mind me working.”

James furiously shook his head, “No of course not, I understand…I don’t want to keep you from your work.” He was already berating himself, A had a job to do and James certainly didn’t want to get him in trouble with his boss.

“Not a problem, I need to do some work on my tablet. I can multitask,” he winked, and James felt like swooning.

He followed A into the common area, settling on the other side of the couch from him.

“What would you like to watch?” he mumbled. Everyone had been giving him recommendation since he’d awoken from cryo, it was getting longer by the day and very overwhelming.

A looked thoughtful a moment, before turning those clever eyes to him, “What if we watch _Arsenic and Old Lace_?”

James froze looking at him in surprise, “You remembered.”

A grinned at him widely tapping his head, “Pretty good memory.”

Pleased James nodded, as the movie started up on the screen, curling his feet under him he settled in to watch the movie. More content and at peace then he'd been in a long while.

-#-#-#-

It caught him completely off guard.

He’d come to help James, but by the third day at the compound, he wasn't so sure who was helping who anymore.

The days fell into a pattern, he’d work through the list Rhodey had left him, James following along. The man was a quick learner, he asked intelligent questions, and had a good grasp of science and math. Despite the fact, he confessed to shying away from the more modern technologies.

They'd share their meals, then usually in the evening, they'd watch old movies until they fell asleep on the couch. Tony noticing a change with James, in just the short amount of time he’d been at the compound the man seemed to have lightened. He smiled, he laughed, the sadness that seemed to cling to him like a cloak was dissipating. 

Even Tony had to admit, that this was the best he'd felt in a long, long time. Falling asleep on the couch with James nearby was the first time since Siberia he hadn't woke to the nightmares echoing in his head. 

James brought him calmness and peace when he smiled at him hesitantly and open when he leaned into him to look at something when he listened intently as he spoke.

It made his battered heart race.

Suddenly Tony was worried about how he looked, what James thought of him if James liked him…

As the thought came to him, the screwdriver slipped in his hand slicing his palm open, he hissed cursing as blood dripped to the floor.

“A!” James gasped immediately grabbing his hand and tugging him towards the sink, Tony found himself following in a daze barely feeling the cut on his palm. All his attention focused on James, the way he brushed dark hair behind his ear, the way pale eyes focused on the task before him, forehead crinkling in worry. Tony caught his breath, heart racing behind his arc as the warm flesh and blood fingers of his hand cradled his own.

Oh no.

He could hear Rhodey in his mind, could see the expression on his face as he shook his head despondently at him.

_What are you thinking Tony? _

He wasn't thinking that was the problem. If he was thinking he'd use his head and pick someone who may have a hope in hell of liking him back. Not a defrosted national icon who was straight as an arrow, and certainly not an ex-Hydra assassin that killed his parents.

James didn’t even know his real name for crying out loud.

God, he was stupid.

“There we go, does it hurt?”

It took Tony a solid minute to realize James was talking to him, as he carefully dabbed at his palm.

“Not too bad, ummm…thanks,” he mumbled already feeling his cheeks heat in embarrassment, suddenly unsure of himself.

James didn’t seem to notice as he finished cleaning the wound, "Not too deep I don't think you need stitches," he said softly, Tony leaning forward to look at the cut as well.

“Yeah,” he answered softly realizing just how close they were together.

Time seemed to still as Tony stared into the pale blue eyes, they were different from Steve’s, a winter sky instead of the summer blue. Those eyes were deep, sad, the weight of the world crashing down, but also hopeful. He swallowed hard, sure James could hear the frantic racing of his heart in his ribcage as he unconsciously leaned closer to him, eyes drifting to the man’s lips, faintly chapped but inviting.

His phone blared from his pocket startling both of them.

James reared back and Tony immediately reached for it. Unsure if he was relieved or disappointed as he glanced at the screen, swiping it open he brought it to his ear.

“Hey Pep,” he answered.

“Tony where are you? Are you close?”

Standing he moved out of the bathroom, as he focused on the phone, “Sorry Pep, am I close?”

The woman gave an exasperated huff, "Your weekly R&D floor meeting, I have no idea, but there’s a lot of excitement, no clue what's going on."

“Ok Pep, I’ll be there shortly why don’t you go home for the day.”

“Right ok, you’ll keep me posted though?”

Tony chuckled, glancing up as James shuffled towards him curiously, “Of course boss, will that be all Ms. Potts?”

He could hear the relief in her voice, “Of course Mr. Stark.”

He hung up then glancing up at James, “Work?” the man asked softly.

Tony nodded, "Yeah boss calling," he mumbled not lying, Pepper was the boss…he just happened to own the company.

“I have to go in,” he apologized, offering James a sad smile as he turned to head out, an odd tightness in his chest.

He was almost at the door when "Could I maybe go with you?"

Tony slowly turned to look at James blinking as he tried to work through the words.

"That's stupid, I'm sorry I asked, I don't want to get you in trouble," he mumbled head dropping as he looked away.

“No, that’s ok…of course you can come.”

James was smiling at him elated, “Are you sure?”

Tony was not sure at all, this was a terrible idea, “Yes of course.”

-#-#-#-

James could barely sit still as A drove them into the city, he couldn't believe he'd asked to go with him, or that A had agreed to take him. He hadn’t meant to be pushy or to try and force him into anything, he’d just terrified at the thought of him leaving. The idea of being alone again...

He shook it off, not wanting to think about it. A had only been with him a few days, but it had been the best days he could remember having in a long time.

He didn’t want to lose it.

“So where is it you work?” James asked finally realizing he didn't know. He knew the man was an engineer of some sort and a very good one. He also knew he worked in New York, had a workshop there with robots and AI’s, James had always imaged it as something right out of a _Buck Rogers_ novel.

“I Ummm…I work at…” he trailed off with a sigh as he navigated the car around a corner, following the dark winding road to the city, the large stretches of dark trees oddly calming as James turned from watching them pass by the window to focusing on A.

Curious he watched as the man heaved a weary sigh before glancing at him, "Look, James…I need to tell you something.”

James felt his heart clench, chest tight as he struggled to keep his breathing regular. He’d been dreading this, the reason why he’d never pressed too hard. He was scared of what the truth could mean. Of what it may mean for them.

“You don’t,” he started feeling his breath catch, anxiety clenching up his chest. He would gladly spend the rest of his life not knowing if it meant he got to be near A. 

“No I…James, I-”

There was a sudden scream metal and something hit the car making it weave violently. Beside him A cursed, the car was skidding around the next corner.

It all happened so fast then, A fighting with the wheel before they were veering off the curve. The car rolling, throwing them around before thudding to a halt.

James felt is head rebound off the dash, and suddenly he knew no more.


	2. They belong to the by and by

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done as promised part 2! Enjoy!

* * *

Tony woke with a pounding headache.

Grunting softly he shifted slowly, his body screaming at him.

“Shit,” he mumbled, blinking as he tried to clear his vision.

His head pounded and he closed his eyes fighting back a wave of nausea that assailed him, breathing through his nose he waited as it subsided before he opened his eyes again blinking to get his borings. He stared up at a dank stone ceiling, the room was dimly lit. A bare blub swung slowly above him; this wasn’t good.

Moving cautiously he lifted his head blearily glancing around the bare stone room. Where the hell was he? Straining his aching head he pulled at his fuzzy memories; he’d been in a car, headed to work with…

“James!”

His voice came out as a hoarse croak as he moved quicker now ignoring the pain in his head he panned the room panic starting to rise only to subside when he spotted an unmoving lump to his left. Hurrying to his side he checked for a pulse panic subsiding slightly when he felt one. Breathing out a sigh of relief he brushed dark hair back from the pale face, grimacing when his fingers came away sticky with blood.

Carefully he palpated the man’s head exploring the extent of the damage, there was a large cut along his scalp that was bleeding sluggishly, it was worrisome, he guessed James would have a concussion but he wouldn’t know until he woke. Shifting he sat carefully beside the big form, wincing as his body protested the movements.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled running a grimy hand through his disheveled hair.

“Sorry for what?” The voice was a pained croak.

Tony was quickly leaning over to check on him, “James?”

“Yeah,” he mumble slowly sitting upright, Tony helped him. Taking a moment to check dazed blue eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Tony asked softly unable to help the gentle brush of fingers over the dark bruise on his jaw.

“Terrible,” James groaned, Tony helped prop him up against the wall, pale eyes glancing around before his face took on a resigned air.

“I’m sorry Angel, this is probably my fault.”

Tony blinked, “You’re fault?”

James nodded gently, then grimaced, “Hydra.”

Tony couldn’t help the grin that split his lips, “You know, I hadn’t thought of that. Still, there is a good chance it’s me.”

James looked at him through his curtain of hair disbelief clear in his expression, Tony felt awful he really should have come clean sooner.

"Look, James, I haven't been totally honest with you. I am, I mean I'm…"

His words were cut off as the door to the room was thrown open with a resounding clang. Burley masked thugs storming inside the space, bristling with weapons. Tony could feel James tense at his side, an air of unease radiating off him. The throbbing in Tony’s head got worse. He was already done with all of this.

The men froze as if waiting, Tony shifted slowly moving subtly to place himself between them and James. He didn't question his need to protect the man, James had been through more than enough. 

The thump of approaching boots had his eyes darting towards the door again, he sucked in a breath waiting as a man in black entered pausing dramatically before him. The silence stretched out, as the man staring at him intently. Tony looked at James, but the man looked just as confused as he.

He turned back to the man, who was now frowning furiously, “Yes?” Tony finally broke the silence.

The goon leader seemed taken aback, he collected himself quickly, "We meet again Mr. Stark." His voice was heavily accented, somewhere from Eastern Europe if he missed his guess. At least that answered one question, it was him they were after, he felt a brief wash of relief they didn’t want James.

“Do we?” he asked crossing his arms, arching an eyebrow, lips curling as he fell automatically into his snarky self. 

The man seemed frustrated, “We met in Warsaw, two years ago…”

Tony shrugged scratching his chin, “Not ringing any bells.”

The man cursed turning to one of the goons he jerked his chin and Tony braced himself, he knew what was coming next. The fist caught him in his jaw, jerking his head sideways as his teeth cut his cheek. Spitting blood he grinned at the man, all snark.

“Nope still not.”

The man hit him again, in the stomach this time. He heard a scramble behind him, quickly he held his hand up hoping James understood. The noises stopped. Tony never took his eye off the goon, the man was rearing back again, when the supposed leader spoke again.

“Stop!”

The goon froze, “We need him…in working order.”

Tony had, sadly, been kidnapped on more than one occasion, he knew what was going to happen next. He sighed heavily, spitting the mouth full of blood on the floor before him.

The leader narrowed his eyes, "Are we boring you, Mr. Stark?"

Tony sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose, “Yup,” he drawled popping the p. “My head is pounding, so if you could just skip the villain monologue and get on with whatever it is you want, that would be great.”

The man bristled eyes narrowed, “Very well Mr. Stark, allow me to show you.”

Two of the goons were grabbing him by the arms, and he heard movement again. Quickly he turned towards James, “No,” he stated softly, James froze eyes wide, and Tony could tell there was panic there.

“A pet Stark?” The man sneered.

Tony turned back to him, leering, “Just a date for the night, no one of consequence.”

They started leading him away, and Tony couldn’t resist glancing back at James, hoping he conveyed just how sorry he was that he got James into this.

-#-#-#-

James sucked in lungful’s of air trying very hard not to let the blackness creeping around his vision in. He paced the small room again, already having memorized the space. He'd tried the door, his metal arm still ringing from the punch. The walls and floor were concrete, the ceiling stone with a single bulb. There was a small cot, a bathroom with a partition, and a single toilet.. it was sickeningly familiar to him.

He didn’t want to remember, he didn’t want to go back there.

He breathed harshly as he tried to name five things he could see, but it was difficult, his heart was racing as his skin prickled, he felt like he was drowning as he struggled to get air. He tried to focus, started again; what could he see.

Ceiling, light, door, cot, wall.

That was good, four things he could touch now, he ran his fingers across the wall as he paced, the smooth concrete, the metal rivets of the door, the frame of the rusted out cot, the coarseness of his jeans.

The blackness was receding, his breath steadying; three things he could hear, the scuff of his sneakers as he paced the room, water dripping somewhere distant outside the cell, the hum of the light above him harsh and unyielding.

His chest loosened, he rounded the room again, what could he smell? He could smell dank earth, it must be underground, as well as an unpleasant sour sweat order lingered could be him, could be the guards that passed by.

He took deep breath things easing, mind starting to center again; one thing he could taste…blood.

He breathed again, his head still felt a little muzzy, no doubt the concussion, but he could focus again, pulling at the snippets of memories that tumbled around in his head. Since Hydra he’d often had trouble organizing his thoughts they often got away from him, jumbling around.

“Ok,” he breathed still pacing around the room like a caged animal, he remembered getting in the car accident, then they woke up here…A had… he stumbled to a halt as some of his thoughts finally lined up.

A was Stark…Stark was A…Tony Stark. His Angel was Tony Stark. The same Tony Stark whose parents he’d killed. 

It was like a gut punch he felt light-headed, nauseous as he bent forward worried he'd be sick. Taking deep breaths again he tried to force it down, he couldn't worry about that now. He pushed the terrifying realization aside, he needed to focus they were trapped, they'd been taken by someone who was after A…Stark.

They hadn’t known who he was.

He straightened, ok that was something, they didn’t know who he was. It wasn’t Hydra. He used the words as a mantra, they weren’t Hydra, he wasn’t with Hydra.

But what did they want with A?

He grit his teeth, not A, he was Tony Stark.

James felt a pang in his chest, one that had nothing to do with his anxiety…it was more heartache. He had thought…for a moment…maybe…

His thoughts were derailed as the door to the room was opened and a figure was being thrust inside none too gently. Reflexively James rushed forward catching the slightly shorter man before he hit the floor. The door slammed shut, the lock sliding home with a sickening finality. James frowned at the door before the man in his arms coughed violently, shoulders hunching as he gasped and gagged.

Concerned he focused on…Stark, as he heaved, blood, water and bile spilling out. The man was soaking wet, and it didn’t take long for James to put two and two together; he’d been tortured.

James began to shake, chest constricting again as painful memories began to surface. His head being held under ice cold water and he screamed and thrashed, lungs burning for air.

“James?”

Dark and cold, water in his mouth and nose.

“James, come on honey, come on back to me,” there were cool hands on his cheeks, he could feel them. The rough pads of his thumbs smoothing across his skin, “I’m ok James, it’s going to be ok.”

He gasped suddenly drawing in a lungful of air, he wasn't underwater, it wasn't him. Those hands were guiding him, he reached up grabbing one, allowing himself to be lead to the small cot, Stark gently settling him on it before sitting beside him. James unwilling to let go of his hand.

"It's ok, going to be ok James," those hands were holding his, gently running a thumb over his knuckles.

He focused on the touch, the soft words, the press of the warm body next to his. Slowly he calmed, memories fading as he slowly realized the ridiculousness of the position, he let out a chuckle more painful than humorous.

"Ok?" the dark-haired man asked him, concern in his voice.

“I should be comforting you, they…they…” he swallowed the lump in his throat unable to say the words.

"It's ok, not my first rodeo," the other assured him, making James look up at him in surprise.

He wished he hadn’t.

Stark was a mess, dark hair hung wet and lank in his eyes, his lip split and bleeding down his chin, his left eye swelling, and right cheekbone bruised angrily.

“That bad?” Stark asked swollen lips giving him a lopsided grin.

James looked down blushing, unsure what to say.

Without the panic pushing everything else aside, he was suddenly realizing he'd been kidnapped with Tony Stark. The Tony Stark…he realized now how utterly ridiculous it was that he hadn't known who he was. Maybe he'd just been woefully blind, god knows he hadn't wanted to press at anything too hard. Everything was new and raw, it had just hurt.

“I owe you an apology,” Stark whispered, words a little slurry with the swelling from his jaw.

Startled he James looked back into dark eyes, looking back at him sadly, “I should have told you who I was….but…I…” he ran a hand through his hair wincing at his hand. James looked as well, several of his fingers were broken. He looked away feeling the bile rise again.

“It’s ok,” he managed to get out, closing his eyes as he counted in his head, “I… could have asked…I didn’t want too, I was afraid,” he trailed off helpless to explain.

The hand moved, James felt it on his cheek, the rough pads a pleasant rasp against his face. James looked up at him nodding, heart hitching a little in his chest.

“I could have said something too, it was nice just being me. No expectations…” Stark confessed and this time dark eyes looked away, “I’m sorry I got you dragged into this,” he looked guilty then and it broke James’s heart.

"I thought they'd come for me," he assured him, managing to wring a half-grin from his companion.

They were quite a long moment, side by side on the cot James still holding tight to the strong callused hand in his taking a quiet comfort from the other man.

"What do they want?" he finally asked into the quiet voice barely above a whisper.

The other man sighed heavily, “The usual, Iron Man armour, and or want me to build them some sort of tech.”

James nodded, “Will Iron Man come?”

Stark was silent a moment, “I guess we’ll see,” he finally answered and James looked at him curiously the answer a little more cryptic then he expected.

The silence stretched out again, James unsure what to say next, it was if he were blocked up the heavy between them. James knew he needed to tell him, be honest with him. He opened his mouth to speak when that strong hand gently squeezed his.

"Sleep," Stark whispered, tugging James gently forward. Exhausted and heartsick he went willingly, James settling his head in the man's lap. His coveralls were still a little damp but, he could feel the heat radiating off him. Despite the situation, he felt his eyes grow heavy, a warm hand gently running through his hair.

He was drifting off despite himself.

-#-#-#-

Rhodey was beat.

The training had been gruelling but helpful, the Rouges were integrating back in, things were getting along. Pleased he stepped off the jet at the compound, a hot shower and bed waiting for him.

Only three steps inside and Friday was on him.

“Colonel, you have an urgent call from Ms. Potts,”

Sighing heavily he made his way to his room, “Put her through.”

“Rhodey?”

“What’d he do this time Pep?”

“Rhodey he’s gone!”

James froze mid-step, "What?"

“I called him yesterday he was supposed to come, the weekly meeting with R&D but he never came, I can’t reach him, and Friday can’t find him.”

“I’m on it Pep, stay calm, I’ll keep you posted.”

He was abruptly turning and heading back the way he came, “Fri, what was Tony’s last known whereabouts?”

He strode back towards the equipment room the others still there chatting as they stowed their gear.

“Here Colonel,” Friday replied.

“Here as in at the compound?”

“Correct.”

James frowned, why on earth would Tony be here? No one was here…

“What’s going on Colonel?” Steve was looking at him curiously.

“Tony Stark is missing,” he explained briskly as he headed to the computers, “Why was he here Fri?”

“He was seeing to the list you left Colonel,” the AI was brisk and pleasant, but James could hear the snark just below. She was all Tony’s baby to be sure.

“The list?” he mumbled before he remembered, he’d sent Tony a list of issues at the compound, it had been a joke, but apparently….

"So he was here playing repairman?" Rhodes sighed, typical, despite what the world thought, Rhodey had never met a man who worked harder than his best friend. He took a lot of pride in his work and no one would know the base better than Tony, but still. 

“But why? Stark has tons of people who could have taken it for him,” Natasha’s brow furrowed in thought.

“Good question, so he was here, then he headed back to the city to SI and he disappeared?”

"Affirmative," Friday agreed, James tapped the tracer on Tony's phone pinging the location. He could see it, halfway to New York.

Cursing, he fed the coordinates back to the jet, “What about Iron Man?” Steve asked curiously as he watched the blinking dot on the map. James hid his wince before soothing his features.

“Iron Man is on an undercover detail in the Middle East he won’t be back for a bit. It’s up to us to find Tony.” James was getting pretty good a lying, some days he felt like he wasn’t anymore.

Turning he was headed back to the jet Natasha, Steve, and Sam falling in step.

“Colonel, there is one more thing you should know,” Friday added.

Striding as fast as his braces would allow he grunted in agitation, “What Fri?”

“Mr. Stark wasn’t alone.”

Rhodes felt his blood run cold, “Who was with him?”

“Sergeant Barnes.”

-#-#-#-

Tony woke the second the door opened.

The room went from pitch black to too bright in moments, followed by the thump of boots storming across the floor. Automatically he was gathering James close hunching over him as the first blow caught him in the back.

He grunted before he glared up at his captors, "Good morning to you too," he snarled.

He could feel how tense James was in his arms, he squeezed him reassuringly never taking his eyes off the men that circled him, he readied for another blow but the idiot claiming to be a doctor was striding in.

“Good morning Mr. Stark, I hope had a chance to think over our little proposal last night?”

Tony nodded, he had indeed spent a lot of the night thinking as he held James, amazed and humbled the man trusted him enough to sleep in his arms. Although he wasn’t sure if that was trust of just simple exhaustion, he knew James was barely hanging on. He was doing a fantastic job of holding it together, but Tony could see, and he didn’t blame him in the least.

Truth be told he was barely hanging on himself.

“So Mr. Stark what have you decided?”

Tony grit his teeth, glaring daggers at the man, here was the crux of it. This uninventive asshole wanted his tech plain and simple, what he wouldn't give for a more original demand, like money. He'd readily give these morons millions if it meant he and James walk away.

Only it wasn’t ever going to be that simple.

"I have a counter proposal for you," Tony stared at the man steadily, his eyesight was a little fuzzy in his left eye the lid swelling annoyingly.

The man arched a brow, “I’m listening.”

Tony shifted out for under James then, purposefully standing between them and him keeping all the attention on himself. 

“I’ll build you what you want, you keep me, he goes.”

He jerked a thumb over his shoulder, the cot creaked, and he heard James sharp inhale of breath.

The man grinned at him widely, wagging a finger as he tutted, “Oh Stark…did you honestly think that would work?”

Tony grinned around the swelling in his jaw, as he gave a small shrug. He hadn't really, he'd been hoping it'd be that simple; not that anything in his life ever was. This whole situation was a cluster fuck, top to bottom. His suit was currently sitting in the lab awaiting upgrades, rather than in the housing unit around his arc, something he hadn't thought of as they'd hastily departed for SI. Otherwise, he'd have already killed all of these assholes, burnt this goddamn bunker to the ground, then piss on the ashes for fun.

"How about you build what I want, and I won't shoot your boy toy in the head," the man was smirking at him, gun levelled at James. Tony glanced at the man, feeling an odd sort of pride as James started back at him face terrifyingly impassive. This was that famed Winter Solider.

“At least give us something to eat before I work,” he gritted out.

Humming the man nodding, "Fair enough," he turned to stride from the room, Tony held his ground. He waited anticipating, knowing far too well how this game went. True to form just as the asshole reached the entrance he turned firing the pistol directly as James. Tony shifted slightly taking the bullet in the shoulder.

The man frowned furiously at him before he sneered, “Hopefully you can work with just one arm.”

They were gone then the door slamming, and he felt big hands on him, “Tony!”

Absently he patted the metal hand that was pressing carefully against the wound.

“I’m ok,” he assured James, hoping he sounded confident.

Panic filled pale eyes were looking at him in horror, “How did you know he was going to shoot?”

Tony snorted, “Predictable,” he dismissed as he carefully pushed aside the others worried hands tugging the shoulder of the coveralls he was still wearing down. Careful to keep his chest covered, he pushed the arm of his t-shirt up assessing the wound. He’d been shot, sadly, enough to know it was a fairly clean through and through.

He heard the sounds of tearing cloth, surprised he looked at James the man had shrugged out of his button-up and was tearing it to strips. Efficiently he had folded one into a little pad before pressing it to the wound, binding it securely with the strips of material.

“You’ve had practice,” Tony mused, offering him a small smile of thank you.

“Too much,” James mumbled, tying off the makeshift bandage, before smoothing his hand over it, “Thank you…no one…it’s been a long time since someone protected me.”

The soft sad words went right to Tony’s heart, reaching up with his other hand he caught James’s.

“I promise I’ll get us out of here,” he kept his words soft, suddenly aware of how close together they were in the small room. James looked at him, eyes hopeful, and trusting. Tony shifted a little closer still holding James’s hand, he paused scant inches from tempting lips, eyes flicking to pale eyes hooded watching. He moved to close the distance between them when the door banged open again and the pulled apart quickly.

“Food,” the guard growled as two trays were dropped rather unceremoniously on the ground and the door slammed shut. Clearing his throat Tony turned tugging his coveralls back on he zipped them up as James retrieved the food.

They sat side by side on the cot on, Tony fighting his flush, had they almost kissed?

He felt a warmth rise in his chest, as he ate the mush on the tray determined he was going to get them out of there.

-#-#-#-

“But why would Buck go with Mr. Stark?”

Rhodey sighed rubbing his temples, “I don’t know Steve what’s the difference? He’s with Tony and they’re both missing.”

Steve continued to pace the conference room as Rhodes studiously tried to ignore him. He was worried, but he was trying not to show it. Why hadn't Tony just used his suit and blasted the ever-living shit out of who had him and come home? There was more to the situation then he knew.

“No ransom demands?” Natasha asked idly twisting in her chair staring at nothing in particular.

“None so far,” Rhodey confirmed, by all accounts, they'd been gone roughly 24 hours, and they hadn't heard a word. 

“So what’s the plan?” Steve asked briskly.

James blinked at him, “Nothing.”

“Nothing?” he echoed in disbelief.

“We have nothing to go on, Fri is working facial recognition if they pop up in public anywhere. We don’t even know who took them or why. Our hands are tied until we get their demands.”

Steve looked ready to argue but thankfully Sam intervened managing to wrestle the irate looking Cap out of the room to cool off.

Irritated Rhodes slumped further in his chair at the others departed to get some much-needed rest.

Alone he sighed looking down at his silent phone, “Be ok Tony.”

-#-#-#-

James did his best to stay calm.

Only when he was alone the thoughts started to creep in and the anxiety and panic began to rise. Tony had promised to get him out…wonderful, foolish Tony who’d taken a bullet for him.

James closed his eyes leaning his head back against the wall as he thought about dark eyes and strong hands holding his. Confident Tony had held him close, promised to get him out.

James had been so sure he was going to kiss him, they’d been so close…when the door had been thrown open and the moment had passed. How he ached for that kiss, wanted to feel Tony pressed against him. God how he wanted him. He’d never met a more amazing man.

The lock of the door slid open, and Tony was shoved inside, looking tired, and dishevelled. James was hurriedly getting off the cot moving to check on the man worried hands reaching for him. Cupping his face tenderly, Tony looked a mess, his face was swelling and distorted, James couldn't help but whine.

Tony was reassuring him, whispering words of comfort as he steered them back towards the cot. James went willingly, pleased when Tony let him curl into him, head resting in his lap, as those wonderful hand tangled in his hair. He knew he should be the one comforting Tony assuring him it was going to be alright, but he ached for that comfort.

He felt Tony shift above him warm lips leaning close to his ear, “Two days max and we’re out of here.”

James shivered at the warmth, conviction, and confidence. He didn't doubt Tony not for a moment.

-#-#-#-

Tony watched the guard for the corner of his eye as he let his hands do the work. He was building them weapons, yes, but ones that would explode the second they were used. He just needed something to buy him a little time. The guard growing bored of watching him work moved back into the hall assured Tony wouldn't get by him.

Immediately Tony moved to the computer they’d given him, thinking he wouldn’t be able to do much with the admittedly dated technology. How wrong they were.

Fingers flying he pulled up the database that connected everything in the base, intelligent dark eyes studying the layout. He knew they were in an underground bunker, the place was ancient, and not well kept, a point in their favour for sure. He'd counted twenty or so guards, including the ring leader which meant this was a relatively small operation.

Tapping the keys he began to write code as if his life depended on it, which it did, him and James. He was going to give this base a virus, a nasty one, that was going to shut everything down. Ideally, that would give them a ten-minute window before the backup would kick on, at which time the explosives he'd rigged would denote blowing, this whole place to kingdom come while he and James beat a hasty retreat.

It was elegant in its simplicity.

He just needed to finish coding the virus, then they’d be able to get the fuck out of here.

-#-#-#-

He was sleeping when they came for him.

One moment he was laying against Tony, asleep the next the door was banged open and the guards were storming in. It was confusion and chaos as he felt himself being hauled up right away from Tony. He began to panic thrashing in his captors' arms lashing out he threw one into the wall with a sickening crack.

“Didn’t think we’d figure it out did you?”

He could hear voices yelling, the leader, Tony yelling back, he kept fighting, his mind only able to focus on the fact they were trying to take him away from Tony. He got three more before there was a sharp pain in his neck. Crying out frantically he reached for Tony, managing a single staggering step before he was pitching forward. 

His mind was hazy, disjointed, Tony sounded so far way calling to him but he couldn’t make out the words. He gasped, “No…” he tried to yell but it came out as more of a please as he was dragging out of the room and down the hallway.

“Tony,” he slurred voice heavy and caught in his throat, he didn’t want to go. He didn’t understand what was happening. What did they want with him?

“They’re going to pay a lot of money to get you back Winter Solider, we have a buyer lined up already.”

His panic spiked and he tried to breath gasping and choking as they dragged him further away, through a maze of winding tunnels. Whatever they’d dosed him with was making him sluggish, disoriented and confused. He couldn’t hold onto his thoughts, his limbs refusing to cooperate. One thing did manage to get through the chemical haze that had settled on his mind. They were going to give him back to Hydra.

Please no.

Suddenly everything went dark and for a long moment, he'd thought he'd passed out, only he could still feel the guards holding his arms. Confused muttering rose around him as they paused. He gasped in air, his head full of cotton, limbs feeling like jelly. He needed to get his shit together.

Distantly he thought he heard the echo of gunfire.

“What’s going on?”

One of them whispered in the dark before suddenly an alarm started to blare mournfully, red lights flashed distortedly in the darkness. James closed his eyes against the sharpness of it, the noise made his head pound. He knew something wasn’t right the unease of the men holding him was palpable.

The noises grew closer, there was shouting, running feet; gunfire.

James opened his eyes, trying to get himself back together, he needed to get up, get moving. Someone was approaching, yelling.

“Run…coming!”

Bullets pinged off the walls and James was being dropped heavily to the ground, he could hear the firefight happening over his head and he rolled to his back looking up at the terrified faces of the men who'd been dragging him.

It felt like a hazy nightmare, he watched as they were hit, saw the blood, the muzzle flashes. Vaguely registering them fall.

Then suddenly there was ringing silence.

“James?”

He knew that voice, a familiar voice. He tried to call out, but his voice wouldn't cooperate. All he could get out was a strangled whine. Suddenly familiar hands were on him, "Are you hurt did you get shot?"

Those capable hands where on him checking, he thought for a moment, “No,” he managed.

“Ok, we need to go, think you can walk?”

James grunted in what he hoped was an affirmative, even as strong arms lifted him upright. If he'd been more aware of himself he was sure he would have been impressed as it was he could barely make his legs hold himself upright as Tony slung his arm over his shoulder and got him moving.

“What…what happened…” he slurred, trying to keep up as Tony guided them through the maze of hallways.

“Getting us out of here,” Tony replied absently as he glanced around a corner before pulling him along.

James hummed, as they rounded the next turn a bullet thudded into the wall nearby. Cursing Tony pulled them back, James felt Tony gently lean him back against the wall. He felt outside himself like he was watching a movie, and it starred Tony. He watched at the man expertly reloaded the rifle he carried, movements confident, controlled. Before he popped around the wall to return fire in short contained burst, rolling back again. It was exacuted perfectly, as he'd done this before.

“You can shoot,” James pointed out uselessly, he could see Tony’s grin in the strobing red lights.

“I’m ok at it,” Tony shrugged as he reloaded and rolled back out again to return fire.

James listened dazed, waiting, silence followed.

“Ok time to go,” Tony was back gathering him close again as they were moving. “Little further sweetheart, we’re so close.”

James hummed, he liked that…sweetheart, he felt warm and loved with the words. A sudden chill swept over him, he could feel the cool air. He sucked in a lungful as his head rolled towards the open doorway. He could see the moon and stars.

Then he spotted the men blocking the way out, and judging by the litany of curse from Tony so did he.

Tony was propping him on the wall again, James grunted, he needed to help…why the hell was he so useless…

Beside him, Tony was leaning against the wall, checking the gun he heled. James watching fascinated, unable to look away from those hands as he cleared the chamber and checked the sites.

"You've caused quite a commotion, Mr. Stark," that voice, fuck he hated that voice.

Beside him, Tony snorted, "Not yet I haven't."

James frowned at him about to ask what he’d meant by that when there was a sudden deafening blast and the ground rocked beneath them. Surprised he looked back the way they’d come, what the hell was that?

The sound of guns had him turning back towards Tony he hadn’t even heard the man move, but he was gone and the cries and commotion from the hall filled him with dread.

Sucking in a breath he forced his uncooperative limbs to get moving. He focused on his feet, one foot in front of the other. He breathed hard, why was it so difficult?

Making it into the hallway he looked up through the flashing lights at the terrifyingly beautiful sight before him. He could see Tony moving fluidly, knife in hand and he cut through the last of the men. Not a single movement wasted, in the light from the moon he could see the leader fumble for his sidearm, face a mask of terror as Tony knocked it effortlessly from his hands, bringing the knife across his throat.

The fight was over before it began.

“What are you?” he heard the man gurgle blood spurting from his neck.

Tony’s face was cold, terrifying, James felt his knees want to buckle again, this time for an entirely different reason.

The man slid to the floor dead, and Tony was turning back to him, face changing. Cold flat eyes immediately turned soft, It happened so fast James thought he’d imagined it.

“Come on sweetheart,” Tony was at his side again, those strong hands pulling him up again. James struggling as Tony all but carried him out of the bunker and away from that wretched place.

“You’re doing so well honey, keep going,” Tony’s voice was sweet, and his arms warm as he lead them into the forest beyond the building, just as a second explosion lit up the night sky.

Tony paused them, easing James down to rest against a fallen log, he settled with a groan.

"How are you feeling?" Tony asked, running a hand through his hair. James lolled his head into the warm palm.

“Floaty,” he murmured.

"They got you with a pretty powerful tranquillizer I think, it should work through you soon."

James looked up at Tony, framed in the moonlight, eyes soft, and gentle, despite the blood that splattered his face. Behind him, he could see the orange flames that had been then prison licking the night sky.

“What that all you?” he asked watching the blaze dance and flicker.

Tony chuckled, and James watched as he winked, “Hang tight I’m going to send for the cavalry.”

James hummed reaching out a hand absently grabbing hold of Tony's coveralls, rolling his head back to look up at the sky. The stars were blurred around him, and the world began to spin, his stomach rolled.

“Tony,” he rasped before he was heaving the contents of his stomach all over the man beside him.

He instantly felt better.

Blinking he moaned as he realized what he’d just done, “I’m so sorry.”

There was a soft chuckled before careful hands were brushing back his hair, and Tony was gently wiping his mouth with the cuff of his coveralls.

“It’s becoming a thing between us I think, feel better?”

James sighed leaning into the hands again, “Much better.”

Tony's hands didn't stop running through his hair as he carefully soothed him. James sighed leaning into the warmth beside him, his mind clearing with every moment. Memories leaking in that he was having a hard time getting his mind around.

“What happened back there?” James asked softly the bits and pieces coming together, Tony had been…had been…amazing.

“Ah well…that…”

“Yes that,” James was sitting up then, head clearer, thinking again. Tony had just taken out a base…by himself…

The man sighed sitting down beside him against the log, leaning a head on his shoulder, “I had a plan.”

James rested his head against Tony’s, listening to the man’s words intently.

-#-#-#-

The incessant beeping woke him, grumbling he slapped at his bedside table. "Fri lights," he growled squinting at the clock, who the ever living hell was trying to call him at 2 AM?

Grabbing his phone he stared blearily at the message,

_Could use a pick up – T _

He was scrambling to the side of the bed and his braces, “Fri put the call out assemble them all and zero in on Tony’s cell send it to the jet.”

He heard the alarm as he shifted into his braces, easing up as they whirred to life.

“Colonel they’re asking what the call is.”

Already headed for his armour he felt a grin stretch his face, "Tell them we found them."

-#-#-#-

“It was a solid plan,” James mused.

James felt better, the head finally cleared as listened to talk as they lay pressed together under the endless night sky. Sharing warmth as they waited for the others.

“Not too bad,” Tony agreed, James pleased as the callused thumb gently rubbed over his knuckles absently. 

“Unfortunately, the assholes moved up my timeline, I needed another couple hours to finish the data dump, and we would have walked out of there without all the shooting.”

James hummed, “What moved up the timeline?”

Tony was quite a moment, “They took you.”

James felt his breath catch, and warmth spread through his chest, "You shouldn't have…" he started but Tony waved his words away.

"I promised to get you out of there," he said quiet confidence in his voice. He remembred that voice promising him so many months ago that he'd make him well.

Tony had done so much for him, had saved him twice now; and what had James done for him?

He closed his eyes feeling the breath hitch in his chest, he didn't deserve it. If anything Tony should have left him…it was what he deserved after all. He tried not to make noise but the pained whimper caught in his throat.

“James? Are you hurt?”

He felt warm hands cupping his cheeks, as he tried to bite back the tears that were gathering in the corners of his eyes.

“Sweetheart?”

He opened his eyes then, looking into concerned dark orbs studying him worried. He felt those rough thumbs smoothing across his cheekbones. "Tony I don't…I don't deserve…" he swallowed down the lump in his throat. The words sticking there, he didn't want to say them, he wanted Tony to keep looking at him like that, warm and caring. He wanted to feel the rough worn hands on him, hear the endearments spill from his lips.

He couldn’t lie to him…wouldn’t lie…

He forced the words out, "I killed your parents," he breathed the words painfilled, as they tore out of his chest. He closed his eyes again unable to bear seeing the hurt and betrayal he knew would follow.

He waited, the silence stretching out between them. The hands didn’t move from his face, save for the course pads of his fingers gently wiping the tears from his cheeks.

“I know,” Tony said in that same steady voice.

Shocked he found himself staring into the same warm eyes, touched with a little sadness.

“You know?”

Tony nodded slowly heaving a sigh, “It’s a very long story.”

James drew a breath tilting his head back to study the face above him, he looked so strong in the moment but so…lonely…it made his heartache and his chest heave. He remembered the shared confession in their letters. The secret words meant only for him.

“Tony I-” he started, words of love burning in his throat.

His words stalling as a too-bright light was suddenly filling his vision, throwing them into sharp relief. The thrum of the jet was above them signalling the arrival of the others.

With one last sad smile, Tony was moving, pulling away turning to wave up towards the jet.

James moved slowly gaining his feet, moving to stand behind Tony as the jet circled.

“Things are going to get a little hectic here, but I would…it would be helpful for me if we told everyone it was you who rescued me.”

James frowned ready to argue, there was no way he was taking credit, he drew a breath to reply when Tony turned to hush him with a finger to his lips and a small, sad smile. "Please?"

James could deny him nothing, he had just barely managed to nod when he heard Steve yelling across the clearing, “Buck!” 

Glancing towards the big blonde charging towards them, he was caught a little off guard as Tony sagged against him. Reflexively he caught the slightly shorter man as he leaned into him, the other Avengers descended on them.

Tony’s prediction proved eerily accurate as he suddenly felt as though he was in the middle of a tornado. The others were peppering questions at them, Steve trying to make sure he was ok, while Colonel Rhodes was doing the same for Tony, Sam and Natasha trying to find out how they’d escaped.

It was chaos.

James felt his anxiety spike, despite his efforts to breath. He wanted them to just to go. He desperately wished it was just he and Tony again, laying together as they stared up at the night sky.

Sucking in deep breaths he tried to calm himself, ignoring how Steve pressed in demanding to know what had happened. Sure he was just about to punch his friend in the face he turned helplessly to Tony. He knew he shouldn't lean so heavily on the man but he couldn't help it, bordering on a full-blown panic attack he met the others gaze through the upheaval.

Tony suddenly collapsed into Rhodes's arms, groaning in pain loudly. Everyone turned to him and James could finally breathe.

Gasping he started at the ground as he focused on one breath, then another before he felt calm enough to look up once more. Tony caught his eye over the head of the others, as the dark-haired man complained loudly, whining and putting on a hell of a show. James was thankful for offering him a tremulous smile of thanks, as Tony winked at him before snarking at Steve.

James didn't think he could love someone as much as he did at that moment.

In short order, Rhodes was ushering them all onto the jet where they were he and Tony were bundled in warm blankets and given water. James purposefully sitting beside Tony on the bench, unable to bring himself to be away from him.

“Need to get you to medical,” Rhodes was frowning at both of them.

Tony shook his head, waving a casual hand, "Totally fine Sour Patch."

Frowning James was finally able to find his voice, “He was shot,” he managed to breath out.

Tony sighed, shooting him a rueful look as Colonel Rhodes's face turned thunderous.

“Don’t worry Sergeant Barnes got him,’” Tony lied so effortlessly, face the picture of honesty.

“Buck how did you manage to get out?”

Steve settled across from them, wide-eyed and eager to know, focusing all his attention on him. James didn't know how to answer, everything in him was screaming, to tell the truth. That he'd fallen apart and Tony had saved the day. What he wanted to do was gush about how heroic he'd been, competent and incredible.

Instead, he forced to swallow down his words as Tony fabricated some ridiculous tale about how James had busted down the door and taken on the base single-handed while carrying Tony to safety.

It took a tremendous amount of will power not to open his mouth, so he glared at the floor in anger as the others congratulated him, Steve clapping him on the back all smiles while he half-joked that perhaps he was ready to join them in the field.

James wanted to yell in frustration.

But Tony had asked him, and so he sat in silence, jaw clenched, even when Sam and Natasha teased Tony about the vomit on his coveralls.

James felt his cheeks heat in embossment.

“The food wasn’t to my liking,” Tony sniffed disdainfully, every inch the spoiled rich kid.

James couldn’t resist glancing at Tony, amazed at the difference in the man. He looked awful yes under the mess of bruising and swelling, but he also somehow seemed…lesser?

James had no idea how he was doing it, but he was.

Before he could get too much further into his head they were landing and he was being whisked to medical by Steve. He allowed himself to go, assuming Tony would be right behind him. Only by the time he'd been checked over by Bruce, and given a clean bill of health, Tony never materialized.

Instantly the panic as back, he looked at Steve desperate, “Tony?”

Steve rolled his eyes, before waving a hand dismissively, “Mr. Stark had ‘private’ physicians, Colonel Rhodes took him.”

James swallowed down his sorrow as he hung his head, willing back the tears.

Tony was gone.

-#-#-#-

“You should see a real doctor you know,” Rhodey grumbled somewhere behind him.

Tony chuckled hissing as the other man disinfected the bullet hole in his shoulder, “But you have such a good bedside manner,” he teased, groaning as Rhodes pressed on a practically tender spot on his back.

“You know that’s a perfect boot print right there,” Rhodey observed.

Tony grunted, “Not surprising.”

"Do you want to tell me what really happened now?"

Tony sighed, as he explained leaving out some of the more unpleasant torture parts, as well as the more intimate ones. Those were frankly none of his business.

“So he threw up on you again?” Rhodey chuckled as he put the last stitch in his shoulder. 

Tony grinned at the far wall, “What can I say I bring out the best in people.”

-#-#-#-

He felt like garbage.

Worse really, but he couldn’t think of anything worse to compare it too. He missed Tony, missed him so much it was a physical ache in his chest.

It had been three days since they’d been rescued, and he hadn’t heard a word from him. He had thought after…after everything that maybe….

He closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears from leaking down his cheeks, a futile effort but at least the others weren’t there to comment.

Steve with his endless questions, and remarks about him needing too ‘back into the world’, or the others with knowing looks and encouragement that he was ready to fight again.

He was far from ready, wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready…whether he wanted to ever be ready.

Wiping roughly at his face he clenched his jaw, he was being stupid.

He'd been reading too much into it, Tony was amazing…and he was….god, where did he start? If anything their little kidnapping episode showed just how out of his league Tony was.

Staring bleakly at the table he was pulled from his thoughts abruptly, “Sergeant Barnes?”

Starting he looked up, “Yes Friday?” he asked hoarsely, wondering if he should give in and ask the AI to contact Tony for him. Pathetically beg the man to see him again, even if it was just for a moment.

“Captain Rogers said they’ll be home soon,” she relayed.

James nodded, “Mission go well?”

"Affirmative Sergeant, the news channels are running footage of the most recent battle now, shall I turn it on? "

James shrugged, "Sure," he mumbled not really caring.

The others had been called out just a few hours after they'd returned to the compound. Steve had been adamant that he should go on the call; James had balked. Terrified of the idea of being forced back into combat.

He’d been relieved when Rhodey had put his foot down, saying he was not allowed in the field until all the proper paperwork had been completed. It was the first time he'd been thankful for bureaucracy. 

Glancing up at the screen, he watched absently as the smiling news anchor disappeared and footage of the Avengers fighting some sort of odd humanoid looking creatures played. It wasn’t great footage, a little grainy and blurry. He recognized Steve though, tossing his shield around, Sam swooped by, War Machine, and Iron Man appearing in the frame.

On-screen Iron Man fell in behind Steve and James realized he'd never really seen them fight together. Steve talked a lot about Iron Man, about how well they worked together, how much of a friend he'd found in him. James had only met him the once, but he'd been kind to him.

In the footage they moved well, fighting in sync as if they'd been doing it for a lifetime. Iron Man was fighting hand to hand, his movements fluid, contained, not a single wasted motion….something sparked in his memories.

The footage ended and the news anchor was back, James frowned, “Friday can you play that again?”

“Certainly Sarge, “ she replied the footage replaying on the TV.

He moved closer to the screen this time watching the red and gold figure closely, the way he moved…it was so familiar.

"Again please Friday," he requested, eyes narrowing as his entire focus centred on him, something there was something…the memory danced frustratingly just out of reach. Like most of his memories, but this was a newer fresher, he should be able to remember.

“Again,” he whispered, it was right there, if he could just….

Then suddenly it was there.

Eyes wide in surprise he stood staring sightlessly at the TV, pieces falling into place.

His body was already moving before his mind could catch up. Changing quickly he was taking Steve’s keys and heading for his bike, a single destination in mind.

-#-#-#-

Tony groaned under the hot spray, fighting to keep his eyes open.

Mechanically he washed, happy to be free of the suit, he’d been in it a long three days.

It was just his luck they’d got a call only hours after he and James had escaped. Rhodey had ordered him to stay behind, but when had he ever listened to any orders?

It'd been a good thing he had, they had needed him. Some scientists had torn a hole through space and invited a large alien race that had been super unpleasant.

He’d been worried that James would have been forced to come as well, with his supposed victory over the kidnappers, he’d had listened to Steve all but bully James into agreeing to be an Avenger on the way home. It had irritated him at the time.

Then Steve had insisted James come on the call, he’d been relieved when Rhodey had but his foot down. Yet Steve hadn't been willing to let it go. Steve had complied and whined the whole time, Tony had been completely done with him. Had he never noticed before just how much Steve liked to complain, had he always done that? 

The call had been eye-opening for him. For the first time, he had looked at Steve and felt…nothing. His heart hadn't flipped in his chest, he hadn't been filled with the ache and hurt. Steve was just…Steve.

He staggered a little, realizing he was falling asleep on his feet.

Cursing he quickly finished his shower, not bothering to check out the bruises that littered his form, some from the kidnappers, some newly accumulated from the last few days. Briskly drying himself he wrapped a towel around his waist heading for the bedroom, eyeing his large, inviting looking bed he found himself hesitating. He had every intention of sleeping…only the sudden image of James curled into him, slumbering softly made him catch his breath.

James.

The name wrapped around him, filling him with warmth. He’d been wondering how he’d been the last couple of days. He had wanted to talk to him, to see what this fragile, secret thing was between them. Now three days later, he was sure James thought he’d brushed him off. He was terrified, worried that James wouldn’t want him. He wasn’t sure his battered heart could take that rejection.

He closed his eyes turning from the bed, he needed sleep and then…then he’d see.

He was reaching for his sweats when Rhodey called, “Boss, Colonel Rhodes on the phone.”

He groaned loudly, “No,” he sighed petulant, seriously considering not answering,

“Put him through,” he growled tugging on a pair of clean boxer briefs.

“Tones!”

“This better not be a call to assemble Rhodey, or I’m calling in dead…” he growled.

"No, not a call, least I don't think. Sergeant Barnes is gone."

Tony froze hands reaching for a t-shirt, “What do you mean gone?”

“He’s not at the compound, Steve says his bikes gone.”

Tony frowned as a small bubble of panic rose in his chest, “Maybe he left a note, a message?”

“Steve says no.”

The fear grew and he was quickly tugging on a t-shirt, followed by his jeans, a thousand thoughts already whirling through his head. Maybe he could trace his phone… he made a small pained noise when he remembered he didn’t have a phone.

“I’m just getting dressed now,” he told Rhodey, wondering where he would have gone.

“Tones it’s fine, I just wondering if you’d seen or heard from him,”

Tony paused thoughts juddering to a halt, “Ummm no,” he replied.

“He’s a big boy he can look after himself, you don’t need to run out. Just let us know if you hear from him.”

Tony swallowed, “Yeah sure.”

Rhodey bid him goodbye before hanging up and leaving him to his thoughts. James was missing, like hell, he was going to wait. Conveniently ignoring that it was none of his business he was in motion, worried something had happened. Maybe someone had taken him…he felt his insides twist unpleasantly as he was all but running. 

“Friday does Steve’s bike still have that tracker?”

“Yes Boss,” Friday replied.

He was heading to the elevator, “Let’s see if we can get a lock on it.”

"No need to Boss," he paused halfway across his living room when Friday's words as him freezing in place.

“Come again?”

“Don’t need to track him,” Friday explained.

Tony pinched the bridge of his nose before wincing, his face was still rather moulted and bruised. "Friday…please explain."

“Sergeant Barnes is here.”

Surprised he blinked, “He’s here? As in the tower?”

“Yes Boss, on his way up in the elevator.”

Tony stared at the elevator, unsure what to do with tremendous relief that rolled through him, followed by the sudden spike of nervous adrenaline.

Why was James here?

Before he could work himself up too much the door was opening, and a wind-swept James Barnes was stepping off, looking oh so good. Tony found himself swallowing thickly as the man glanced around curiously before those beautifully intense blue eyes landed on him.

They locked gazes across space, and Tony couldn't seem to move.

His heartbeat so hard in his chest he was sure James could hear it, his nerves already frayed thrummed as the silence stretched on uncomfortably. The air thick with the tension that had settled on them, pressing down, until Tonu couldn't take it anymore.

Just when he was sure he was going to combust James was moving.

Without a word he strode across the vast emptiness between them, closing the distance, pressing into his personal space. Tony didn’t move, didn’t twitch, didn’t dare breath as James was there before him, larger than life and heartbreakingly gorgeous.

Tony looked at him, mouth unable to move as the words he wanted dying on his tongue.

He could feel the heat from the man, warm and close, James smelled of outside and exhaust, and something uniquely him. Tenderly he cupped his face, his hands an odd contrast of warm and cool metal on his skin. Gently he pulled him closer, Tony went, willingly, compelled as his eyes drifted to soft lips, hoping, praying…

The moment was too bright, too loud, to slow…it tilted dangerously, terrifying and unknown.

Then Bucky’s lips touched his, and the world righted itself.

It was chaste, a simple touching of lips, sweet and hesitant. Tony was unable to help the whimper that escaped him as he stepped closer, the contact deepening, opening his lips inviting James.

Lips and tongues sliding together, warmth, and sweetness. Tony found his hands sliding to the other's hips drawing them closer, pressing together as they kissed as if they're lives depended on it.

Need for air finally drove them apart, Tony cursing his diminished lung capacity as he huffed lightly forehead pressed to James as they shared hot breath.

"I wanted to do that for so long," James' voice was a broken rasp between them soft and secret.

Tony hummed, hands moving where they rested on strong hips, to caresses the arms that James had looped about his neck. Trying to collect his scattered thoughts, and give voice to the questions that tumble around in his head.

“What…I mean why…” he tried, unable to hold onto the words as his body hummed from the kiss.

“I had to see you,” James confessed, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

Tony could get used to kissing him, to having him so close.

He could hear James breathing, hear the sudden hitch before the words were spilling out, "You're Iron Man."

Tony froze, that warm lassitude that had been settling on him vanished as panic set in.

“No…there’s no way…I couldn’t…” he was pulling away trying to bluster his way through as he reached up without thinking to cover the arc in his chest.

How could he know? How could James possibly know?

James didn’t let him away, he pulled him closer, “It’s ok…you’re secret is safe with me.”

Tony wanted to deny it again, to tell him he was mistaken, he wasn’t a hero, but he was so tired of being alone…

“How did you figure it out?” He finally asked, offering him a crooked smile, “No one else has.”

He felt James lean in pressing his lips to his temple, “Saw you on the news fighting with Steve, I recognized your movements.”

Tony chuckled closing his eyes as leaned into him, resting his head against a strong shoulder, “Surprised you did, you were pretty out of it.”

James hummed somewhere above him, and Tony felt strong arms come around him, holding him close. For the first time in a very long while, he felt…ok. He closed his eyes basking in the warmth and quiet, floating pleasantly until.

“You’re sleeping,” the warm husky rasp in his ear sent a sweet chill down his spine.

He stirred in the embrace, “M’not,” he mumbled trying to open suddenly heavy eyes.

James made a soft snort, “When was the last time you slept? and I don’t mean that godforsaken room they kept us in.”

"I catnap in the suit when I can," he confessed muzzily, "Sleep would be good though…" he turned planning to head towards his room but it suddenly seemed so far away now across the wide expanse of the floor. It hadn't seemed so bad earlier.

Maybe he could just lay down where he was, that seemed like a great idea…

Before his knees gave out he felt arms lifting him, too tired to protest as he was carried into the bedroom. James set him on the bed and he fell back, body heavier than it should have been, sleep was pulling at him…as were hands. Groaning a little he rolled to his elbows lifting his hips as James tugged off his jeans, and dammed if it wasn’t a sad state of affairs that his body was too tired to muster a response.

He felt a warm hand on this thigh and a slightly cooler one, confused he frowned his muddled mind recalling that James had a metal one.

“Does it hurt?” James touch was tender, Tony blearily looking down on the massive bruise on his thigh, oh right he’d hit that building…

“Everything hurts,” he mumbled.

James made a soft noise of distress and Tony immediately felt bad, he hadn’t meant to make him upset.

“It’s ok, I’m fine,” he assured reaching down and tangling his fingers with James, soothing him.

James gave a soft huff, “Let me fuss over you a little would you?”

Tony lifted his knuckles to his mouth pressing a kiss to them, “Alright.”

Gently James disentangled their fingers reaching for his shirt, Tony lifting his arms as the material was pulled off, before he suddenly remembered. Reacting on instinct he brought his hands up hunching over the glow in his chest.

James was soothing him this time, running hands up and down his arms, “It’s ok, you’re ok,” Tony sucked in a breath reminding himself James already knew.

He knew who he was, what he was…

Slowly he lowered his hands, trying to assure himself he wasn’t blushing as gentle fingers hesitantly reached out.

“I thought it was part of your suit,” James’s words were soft, curious.

Tony hitched a breath as those fingers skated lightly along were metal and flesh met the skin scarred and torn, "It is, and it's part of me…it powers the suit and keeps shrapnel from my heart."

He felt those fingers pause, "I'm going to ask you about that story later, but for now, sleep."

Tony hummed in agreement, disappointed when the fingers left and James was pulling away, afraid he was about to leave he reached for him, too tired to feel bad about feeling so needy.

“Just getting undressed Angel.”

Tony huffed an embarrassed laugh before he was laying back down, contentedly sighing, already drifting off as he registered James sliding in beside him. He felt a warm arm across his waist as James pressed into his neck. Contented he drifted off, hoping this wasn't some dream conjured up by his overly tired imagination.

-#-#-#-

James hummed softly to himself as he moved around the kitchen. He felt good this morning, better than…well he didn’t remember when really. He’d slept well, his nightmares distant and buried as he’d spent the night wrapped tightly around Tony Stark.

He paused in his fruit cutting, feeling his cheeks warm at the thought. He'd awoke not so long ago to find himself curled in Tony's strong arms, with Tony's face pressed against his neck and shoulder. He'd been deliciously warm and content; Tony ran hot.

Sliding out of bed he'd let the man slumber on, as he'd relieved himself before heading to the kitchen hoping to spoil his Angel with breakfast in bed. The fridge had been surprisingly well-stocked, as he cut up fruits, and made pancakes. He wasn't a great cook but he could manage a decent breakfast.

Friday helped him with where everything was and in no time he was shuffling back towards the bedroom tray in hand. Entering the dim space he spotted Tony, still fast asleep on his stomach, snoring softly. James was a little hesitant to wake him, but he needed something to eat. He got the feeling the suit didn't lend itself to proper meal times.

Setting the tray down he slid back onto the bed, gently running fingers through dark hair, coaxing the other man into wakefulness. He watched at Tony’s face scrunched before he groaned softly burying his face into the pillow.

“Come on Angel you need to eat something,” he leaned down kissing a bare shoulder, resting his lips there until he felt the man stir. Pulling back he watched dozy dark eyes blink, as Tony worked himself awake, deep smudges under his eyes.

How long had it been since someone had cared for him?

“James?” he rasped frowning confused.

“Yeah, still me,” he replied moving his lips to steal a kiss, he felt Tony smile against them.

“Thought I dreamed it all,” he breathed against them.

James shook his head, “Nope, and I have breakfast.”

Tony sat up a little straighter, more awake now, “Yeah?”

He reached for the tray as Tony leaned back against the headboard, sheets pooling at his waist. James couldn’t help but linger on the well-toned muscular chest of the man, the defined six pack that tapered to a trim waist.

"Like what you see?" Tony was teasing him, grinning crookedly, eyes still a little hooded and sleep hazed, dark hair looking deliciously disheveled, handsome as sin despite the bruises.

“I do,” he confessed, cheeks hot but feeling emboldened.

Tony was still grinning at him amused as James settled the tray carefully in his lap, “Friday said you didn’t like anything in your coffee.”

Tony nodded, taking a sip with a pleased sigh, “Absolutely, black like my soul.”

James rolled his eyes but was pleased when Tony ate, insisting they share his breakfast. James was happy he had an appetite, some days he didn't but today everything seemed so much…better.

Finished James turned setting the tray aside again before he rolled back into Tony throwing an arm over his legs as he rested his head in the man's lap, sighing pleased as rough, capable hands began carding through his hair.

Utterly content he heaved a sigh, “I love you,” he spoke unable to keep the words in a second more.

He breathed, shuddering, feeling as if a weight was lifting from his chest. It felt good to get the words out, to say them. He felt the hand in his hair still, Tony tensing under him.

“Loved you the moment you replied to my letter,” the hand tightened his hair, and James closed his eyes.

"You didn't have to…" He searched for the words, taking a steadying breath before continuing, "You didn't have to do any of the things you did, but you saved me…twice…how could I not fall in love?"

Pleased he’d managed to get out want he wanted to say, he sank further into Tony, hoping the man wasn’t going to run. Even if he did though, James was happy he could finally say it. He needed Tony to know just how much he’d come to mean to him.

He waited, listening to his own racing heart, as suddenly the hands were moving again, stroking his hair. The touch was soothing, repetitive, James found himself relaxing.

“James, do you know why I went to Wakanda?”

Tony's voice was quiet in the stillness of the bedroom, he shook his head pressing his face closer to Tony's warm stomach. Pleased the man hadn't thrown him off and made for the door.

“I went because of Steve…I ……ummm….I had feelings for Steve.”

The words were like a bucket of cold water, his heart clenching at the words, Tony must have felt him stiffen because suddenly his hands were moving again, assuring him.

“Just hear me out,” he soothed, and James tried to will away the tears that threatened to fall.

"I said I had feelings for Steve, past tense, but then this dark-haired mystery man threw up on me."

James snorted, easing marginally as he listed to that beloved voice, soothing and caressing him.

“Then he wrote me a letter, and I honestly couldn’t remember having ever got a letter, it seemed very old fashioned and somehow perfect.”

James felt the rough pads of his fingers tuck his hair behind his ear, "You have beautiful handwriting, by the way, cursive writing in the lost art form."

James snorted, feeling a pleasing warmth in his cheeks despite himself.

“The more we wrote though, the easier it became. I’ll be honest with you James I’m a mess, I’m bad with people, with relationships, with feelings. I understand machines far better than humans, I have baggage to spare, crippling anxiety…” He sighed heavily then trailing off.

James nuzzled closer, “You’ve read my file haven’t you?”

That earned him a laugh, "Yeah…yeah, I have," he trailed off with a small resigned sigh.

"I always wished I could fall in love using my head rather than my heart, but despite all my armour and this thing in my chest, you somehow managed to make yourself at home."

James breath caught, rolling a little to look up at the soft dark eyes looking down at him, he could see the warmth, and affection there, and a hopefulness that tugged at his own heart. 

“Yeah?” he asked trying to keep his voice steady even as his heart thudded furiously in his chest.

Tony was giving him that same sweet crooked smile, the one he’d fallen head over heels for. He leaned down, James angling for a kiss as Tony paused, “Yeah.”

Then words were lost as their lips met, and James was flying, sure he was dreaming, and that at any moment he was soon going to wake up alone. He shifted in Tony's lap pulling away briefly, just enough to climb into it properly, pausing a moment to throw off the shirt he'd pulled on to make breakfast. Pressing close again, he looped his arms around strong shoulders as they kissed, all heat and passion.

It had been so long since he’d had any intimate contact of any kind, shuddering as those hands he’d fantasized about for so long skated down his back, resting on his hips and massaging gently. James felt a low moan bubble in his chest as he pressed closer, wanting Tony to touch him more.

A riot of emotions ran through him so fast he could barely hold onto one before there was another. It was almost overwhelming, except Tony was there holding him, ground him, centring.

James pressed closer wanting to feel more of the man, as Tony's lips moved across his jaw, down his neck…he huffed letting his head fall back as the man moved lower, worrying his collar bone, kissing tenderly at his grotesque shoulder. While he couldn't feel the tenderness of the lips, the intent was clear enough sending a thrill of heat down his spine.

Tony was being so gentle, so sweet…and James wanted.

It had been so long since he'd wanted anything, but he wanted Tony so bad it hurt.

He wanted everything. He wanted Tony to take him apart with that strong, competent confidence he’d seen. Wanted those rough callused hands to touch every inch of him. Wanted Tony over him…wanted to feel every inch of him.

He whined, pulling Tony to him as the man teased his nipple, the rasp of his scruff a sweet counterpoint to his tender ministrations. Tony chuckled against him before he pulled back a little, kissing him once more before looking up at him.

“What would you like sweetheart?”

Dark eyes burned into him, and James felt his breath catch, the tumbled of need and emotion pulling at him, begging to be let out. It all felt so new and yet he had hazy memories of past relationships, of women and men who’d come and gone in his life. None of them felt as real as Tony did in his arms at that moment. 

"I want…" he tried, feeling hands on his waist, coarse thumbs rubbing on his hips just above the elastic of his underwear. He trembled, frustrated he couldn't get the words out he so desperately wanted. Tony smiled at him softly and warm, pulling him close for a kiss, one that he melted into, trying to convey out the emotion he couldn't give voice too.

“I want you, all of you,” he finally managed to get out.

Tony groaned against his lips.

“Ok sweetheart, if anything gets uncomfortable, or you don’t like it you tell me.”

James bobbed his head eagerly, and a little nervous. It had been a long time. Tony smiled gently at him, as he sat up a little straighter hooking his arms around James's legs he gently lifted him before tumbling him onto his back.

Surprised and more than a little turned on at being manhandled, James felt a heat rise in his cheeks, flushing across his chest.

Tony was grinning down at him as he slotted himself into the cradle of his hips as he leaned down kissing him again. He groaned as Tony pressed into him, warm, and heavy, melting into the bed beneath him. Tangling his fingers in dark hair as Tony feathered kisses across his abdomen, making James squirm and sigh.

He jerked a little as the kisses paused above the band on his far too snug underwear. Truthfully he was pleased he was so aroused, he hadn't felt even the most basic of emotion under Hydra. They'd kept him drugged and suppressed for so long a small part of him had been a little afraid that perhaps he had been broken.

His thoughts soon fled however as callused fingers hooked the waistband tugging them off in one fluid motion. He would swear later he did not squeak, but he couldn't help but curl in a little on himself. Blushing red as he looked away from those intense eyes. He had sustained a rather significant injury to that area years ago, one that had very nearly made him a eunuch. While it hadn't castrated him, it had left a rather angry scar on his inner thigh and groin that until this moment, no one else had seen.

He felt warm hands trace the line, sending an odd shivery sensation though him. "That must have hurt terribly," Tony's voice was a horse, wrecked. James instinctively arched into the touch unable to help it despite his embarrassment.

Opening his eyes he carefully reached out to lay his right palm against the glow in the man’s chest above him, “So would that.”

Tony was grinning at him, “Touché,” he replied softly before he was moving down, kissing his way across the scar, right up to…

“Tony!”

His voice was somewhere between a moan and yell, as hot lips wrapped around him and Tony was swallowing him down. Pleasure rippled through him, as he did his best not to buck into the warm moist heat. Tony hummed pleased, the vibrations running up his spine.

“Shit, Tony,” he tried, embarrassingly close and they hadn’t even got started.

Tony bobbed his head taking him even deeper, and James scrabbled quickly reaching for the man he pulled him off just he came, with a rather loud moan, accidentally shooting cum all over Tony's face and chest.

He moaned an odd mix of turned on and embarrassed.

Tony took it all in stride, lips twisting in a grin as he gently patted his thigh before he awkwardly shuffled to the side of the bed grabbing his discard t-shirt and mopping up.

James covered his face in his hands, sure the blush would never leave him, “I am so sorry…”

He felt a warm weight return, and a sweet kiss to his temple, “Nothing to be sorry for sweetheart,” Tony assured him so sweetly.

James pulled his hands away looking at the other in disbelief, “I just…on your face…so fast…” he moaned again worried he’d messed this all up already.

He heard Tony chuckle, as strong arms pulled him close, “I’m flattered honestly, old man like me.”

James made a small noise of distress pulling his hands away, "No! You're amazing and talented, your hands are so strong, and capable…" he trailed off wide-eyed, he was saying things…so many things.

"Got a thing for my hands?" Tony asked smoothing the worn palms across James's chest, the rasp of his calluses sending a delicious shudder through him.

“Yes,” he confessed, feeling goosebumps prickle as he trailed them lower. 

“You’re the first, I always got complaints they were too rough,” Tony murmured in his ear.

James sighed as those hands moved over him, he felt Tony leaned closer, the man’s very noticeable erection pressing into his thigh.

Embarrassed all over at how selfish he was being he reached his right hand towards Tony, only to have his fingers caught. “No sweetheart, this is all about you, I want you to feel good.”

James wanted to protest but those hands were on him again, manhandling him upright as Tony slid in behind him. Surprised he leaned back against the man, feeling the hum of his arc against his back; it was soothing. He sighed happily as Tony was touching him again.

Still enjoying his post-orgasm lassitude he melted into Tony, his world narrowing to those hands. He made soft keening noises, huffing against the warm neck as Tony expertly touched him. It was incredibly erotic, and somehow deeply intimate as they lay against each other.

Tony’s touch skated lower and much to James’s surprise, he found himself getting hard again.

A rough palm cupped him pulling at his erection gently coaxing it to life, "Super soldier stamina?" Tony asked kissing his shoulder.

James shrugged helplessly, "Don't know I haven't…not since," frustrated his sigh trailed off into a moan, "I think it's just you."

Tony chuckled nipping at his neck, “You know how to stroke a man’s ego.”

James laughter trailed off to a disappointing grunt as the warm hands were leaving him and Tony was moving him upright again, James went willingly. He hadn't known he had this particular turn on, but being manhandled by Tony was incredibly erotic.

Tony was urging him to his stomach as he went, more than pleased when those hands were on his back, moving in long slow strokes, pausing to trace silvery lines of scars that littered his back..

His erection throbbed, trapped beneath him, and he tried not to rut against the bed, not wanting things to end so soon. He wanted to enjoy every moment of this sweet torture.

“Ok sweetheart?” Tony’s voice was deep, husky, and James shivered as it went straight to his groin.

"Yes," he assured him, feeling the hands move lower, the rasp of his pads massaging his ass, pulling his cheeks part before a teasing finger brushed against his hole. He inhaled sharply, head coming up from where it rested against his forearms.

Tony soothed him stroking his thighs, “It’s ok sweetheart, we don’t have to do anything.”

James made a pained moan, he did not want Tony to stop, “I _want,” _he urged him hoping the word conveyed everything he was feeling.

"Ok, love, ok," Tony assured him and Jesus those sweet endearments were turning him to mush.

The fingers where back caressing gently, making him quiver, all his attention focused on Tony and what he was doing to him. Hyper aware of every movement he felt warm kisses press along his spine, as those clever fingers massaged, the warm mouth moving lower. He squirmed, huffing a breathy chuckle as Tony pressed a teasing kiss to each of his cheeks before a hot tongue was pressing against the most intimate part of him and lapping firmly.

Oh, sweet Christ that was good.

“Tony, fuck Tony,” he begged torn between want and embarrassment as Tony licked and teased, nibbled working him so perfectly. James had never, no one had ever, and he loved….

He chanted Tony’s name as he begged and pleaded, wanting him to go forever, but also craving more.

Unable to help himself he whimpered as Tony’s tongue worked inside him.

That was it with a low moan he was cumming again, soaking the bedspread beneath him and shook and shuddered apart under the onslaught of Tony’s mouth and hands.

He felt warm breath against his quivering hole as with a last lap Tony was pulling away. James bit the bedspread beneath him trying to stifle his sob.

“You alright sweetheart?” he felt kisses raining down on his shoulders those warm hands.

He felt so good.

He turned to catch those lips, huffing a little embarrassed when he realized the odd musky taste was himself. He wanted to tell Tony he was more than alright, that he didn't want the moment to end.

Knowing trying to find the words were useless he arched his back, "Please," he begged.

He felt Tony pause, “You sure?”

James nudged him, “Yes.”

He felt Tony shift away, lazily he turned his head he watches as he rooted through the bedside table returning with a small bottle and foil packet. He couldn't help but frown.

“No?” Tony paused arching an eyebrow at him. 

“Do we need that?” he gestured to the condom.

Tony arched an amused brow, “Your call sweetheart.”

He reached out his metal hand tossing it away before pulling Tony in for a filthy kiss. He felt the smirk against his lips, “What would you like dear heart?”

James didn't even try to speak this time, instead, he rolled pulling Tony down on top of him, figuring he'd catch on. Tony was back kissing him again, he heard the snick of a cap before cool wet fingers where back. He moaned into Tony's hot mouth as he easily slid two digits inside, he gasped hitching his hips, with a throaty moan.

Tony was just as cautious and careful skillfully stretching and caressing him until he was sure he was going to lose his mind. When he felt those fingers hook, messaging his sweet spot, James just about came out of his skin. Whimpering he pulled Tony closer hooking his legs around the slender hips as if he could force him to get a move on.

“Alright sweetheart,” he said before he was pulling back, James whined, demanding and ready, about to give voice to his complaints Tony settling over him again, and something much larger pressing into him.

The air in his lungs punched out of him, as Tony bottomed out and he arched his hips. Above him, Tony grunted and James finally focused on him, realizing for the first time just how wrecked he looked. Dark hair was messy about his head, as those bedroom eyes blazed with desire, he felt…oddly powerful.

Determined to ruin Tony he rolled his hips earing a soft grunt from the man above him. Tony rocked his hips in retaliation and before long they were falling into a sweet rhythm. It wasn't fast, there was no rush or hurry, James luxuriated in the pace, feeling Tony over him, in him, he sighed content wrapping his arms around the strong shoulder as they moved together. 

He did his best to memorize everything from the way Tony felt in his arms, to the soft breaths, and warm skin, to the slick sounds that filled the space between them.

“Angel,” he breathed lifting his hips, surprised when he felt his body stir again, he hadn’t thought he’d be able to a third time.

Above him Tony's breath was growing uneven, his movements losing the rhythm, and James held tight as Tony whispered sweet words of praise in his ear. Shifting he groaned loudly as Tony hit his sweet spot head-on, and he began to shake, feeling that hot coil again, arching back as Tony slammed into him, once, twice, before he stilled, and James felt wetness and heat, and a steady throb.

Grinding back against Tony his breath caught as his orgasm hit him, different from the others; a slow, steady wave that carried him away.

Tony was capturing his lips again, kissing him sweetly, before carefully rolling off him. James to blissed-out to move. Dazed he caught his breath, drifting on a pleasant miasma of pleasure. He vaguely felt Tony return, a warm wet cloth cleaning him up. He knew he should help, but his limbs felt as if they weighed a thousand pounds.

He was being covered then, cocooned in a soft blanket before Tony was pulling him into his arms and pressing a kiss to his lips, “Sleep sweetheart.”

James didn’t need to be told twice.

-#-#-#-

Huffing Tony racked the weights shaking out his arms out. God, he felt good.

The morning with James had been…incredible, amazing, fantastic. He couldn’t think of the right word but it seemed so much more than just amazing. He knew he was smiling like a moron in the first throes of love, but as no one was there to see him he didn’t give a rats ass.

Truth be told if someone was there he wouldn’t care, loving James was …liberating.

It had been a roller coaster to be sure, and he knew it wasn’t going to be all sunshine and rainbows but if James was willing…perhaps they both deserved a chance at happiness.

Shaking his head face fit to split he rolled his shoulders moving into position to do some clean and jerk. Rhythmically moving the weights he huffed as pushing the weight above him with practiced movements, the muscles in his arms burning with the effort.

After tucking James in he'd been filled with a heady excess of energy, he'd headed to the gym to work some of it off. He'd been planning to go to the lab after but maybe he'd go slip back onto the bed with James. Grinning he did one more rep before setting the bar down and backed away moving his shoulders.

A sharp wolf whistle caught his attention cutting over the podcast he was listening to. Turning he spotted James looking deliciously sleep rumpled in a pair of too snug sweats and nothing else.

Pulling his headphones down to hang on his neck he smirked as James approached, immediately wrapping his arms around the man’s waist.

“Thought you were sleeping,” Tony teased kissing a sleep warmed shoulder.

“Got lonely,” James mumbled nuzzling into his neck. Tony smiled a secret smile pulling him closer, he’d already figured out that James liked to be spoiled. He wasn’t sure if the man himself knew, but that more then alright with Tony…he’d gladly spoil him rotten. James deserved it.

“You look sexy as hell working out,” James mouthed into his neck, as Tony felt something hard dig into his thigh.

Tony chuckled, “Really? Again?”

James huffed out a laugh, “Maybe..”

Tony groaned, “You’ll be the death of me,” he nudged James until their lips met, “But what a way to go.”

He swallowed down James’s happy laughter as they kissed and caressed for long moments. Just when Tony was about to suggest they take it to the bedroom, Friday irrupted.

“Boss, Captain Rogers and Colonel Rhodes are about five minutes away.”

Surprised Tony stared a James as a fuzzy half memory surfaced and he recalled Rhodey calling the night before; he groaned.

“What?” James asked curiously.

“They’re looking for you,” he explained as James gave him a sheepish smile.

Grinning Tony pecked a kiss on swollen lips before he wrapped an arm around the bigger man’s waist leading them to the elevator, “Better go get a shirt on or Steve will blow a gasket.”

James snorted but nodded, Tony grabbed his hoodie tugging it on as the rode up to the penthouse. Stepping off James headed back to the bedroom to get dressed while Tony made his way to grab a drink.

“Angel?” He glanced at James curiously, the man paused just outside his bedroom door, “I love you.”

The warm swell of emotion in his chest made his fingers tingle, and his dodgy heart stutter, “I love you too sweetheart.”

With a happy sigh, he despaired into the bedroom just as the elevator sounded and a harried-looking Steve was hurrying off followed by a bored-looking Rhodey.

"Captain Rogers," he greeted casually, tugging out the bowl of fruit in the fridge James had thoughtfully cut.

“Mr. Stark, I’m sorry to just show up like this, but I need some help. Bucky’s gone, he took off last night and we can’t find him and I-”

Tony cut him off, “Relax Capcile I know where he is.”

Steve heaved a relieved sigh and Tony met Rhodey’s eyes, his best friend arched a curious brow. Tony shrugged, unable to help the tiny twitch of his lips. Rhodey’s smile turned positively evil.

“I told you, nothing to worry about,” Rhodey patted Steve on the back as he took a seat at the counter. 

Steve sat beside him shoulders slumping, “I was just so worried when he took off.”

"Who took off?" James drew everyone's attention as he very obviously walked out of Tony's bedroom wearing his ratty old MIT hoodie that was slight to small, and a pair of his SI sweats, Jesus he looked good enough to eat.

Tony glanced at the fruit in the bowl picturing eating it off his well-muscled stomach.

“Bucky?’ Steve was stuttering looking at his friend in shock.

Tony watched in amused surprise as James came right over to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before moving to the fridge.

Tony watched Steve curiously, the play of emotions across his face a sight to behold. Mostly torn between shocked surprise and hurt confusion.

"Buck why are you here?… Are you together?"

Leaning a hip against the counter Tony glanced curiously at James, the man was looking at Steve flatly, “No Steve, I kiss all the men I meet.”

Rhodey snorted a laugh and Tony felt his grin spread,

“But…but when? I didn’t know…” he looked helpless and a little lost, and Tony felt bad for him.

“Six months ago, we met in Wakanda,” James answered firmly.

Steve looked surprised, and a little hurt, “Does, does Iron Man know?”

James nodded, “Of course he does, don’t be ridiculous.”

Tony looked away trying to suppress his laugh, Rhodey was grinning like a moron and Steve…well, Steve looked unsure. 

“Buck could we…maybe talk a moment.”

James nodded and the pair moved out of the kitchen and into the living room. Tony idly watched them leave, before turning to his still grinning friend.

“So I see it all turned out well?”

Tony nodded dropping his voice he glanced back where the pair had disappeared, “He knows James, came here last night sure as anything.”

His James looked impressed, “Impressive, and he still wants to hang around?”

Tony felt his cheeks heat.

"I'm happy for you Tones really, you too deserve to be happy." He reached across the island gripping his arm. Tony patted it in thanks before he returned to his fruit, pulling out a blender.

“You want a smoothie?” He asked his friend.

Rhodey opened his mouth to reply when James stormed back in expression dark. Frowning in worry Tony moved to intercept him when he heard Steve.

  
“Please, I just wanted to make sure Buck…”

James was in his arms gripping his shirt and burying his face in his neck. Surprised Tony embraced him tightly.

“You need to leave Steve, now.”

James tone was harsh, angry,

“James?” he asked softly concerned, but the man shook his head burrowing closer. He heard Steve stammering behind them but Rhodey was already ushering him out.

“We’ll talk later Tones.”

Waving him off he waited until they were gone before turning his attention to the trembling man in his arms.

“Ok sweetheart?” he asked hands slipping under the hoodie he wore to soothingly caress his hips.

“No,” James mumbled.

Humming comfortingly he lead them back to the bedroom, hauling James close to him on the bed, he ran his fingers through his hair until the man calmed down.

“He asked if you were forcing me,” James said in a small voice.

Tony stilled, swallowing down the anger that wanted to bubble up. He really shouldn’t be surprised.

“I told him I loved you, and he wanted me to go see the doctor. He insisted that something must have happened to me…” he trailed off, and Tony gently wiped tears that leaked from his eyes.

“I’m so sorry sweetheart,” he murmured.

James closed his eyes, nuzzling close, “Why?”

“It’s me, anyone who’s with me…they say such horrible things.”

James was pulling away then looking up at him, “I don’t care,” he said firmly, tear tracks still wet on his cheeks.

“People say awful things about me too, all I care about is you and that I love you.”

Tony cradled him close, “I love you too…so much.”

He knew he was being sappy and ridiculous but he couldn’t help it, “Steve will come around you’ll see.”

James snorted, “I might glue his helmet to his head.”

Tony laughed at that, picturing the blonde with patching hair, it was an amusing thought.

“Maybe Iron Man will have a chat with him about being a dope.”

James hummed, as the lay content in each other's arms, the yawn caught Tony by surprise, “Tired me out sweetheart, I’m an old man need a nap.”

James laughed rolling into him with a contented sigh, “Maybe after we can pick up where we left off.”

“As long as you don’t throw up on me again,” he teased.

James mocked groaned, “Never gonna let me live that down are you?”

“Nope,” Tony agreed.

Wiggling under the covers, Tony held James close, feeling content. He didn’t know the future held but for the first time in a long while, he was feeling hopeful for what the future held. Things weren’t the same anymore, but that was ok. He and James had somehow found each other and that was he needed.

End


End file.
